


Heat in my Heart

by Grubbutts



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, CLICHES OUT THE WAZOO, Car Accidents, Fire, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, M/M, Smoking, Smut, Temporarily Unrequited Love, firefighter Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 01:45:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16777147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grubbutts/pseuds/Grubbutts
Summary: Bro's a busy firefighter, doesn't often have the time to notice Dave's particular interest in. But what happens when he does find out?Shenanigans.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank y'all for the encouragement and beta'ing <333

"No I'm telling you John, your farts smell worse in the shower. There's some shit, pun partially intended, with the smell particles vibrating with more energy from the heat and moving faster through the air.”

"Nope. No no no Dave I will take your piss, I will listen all day to you and your piss fetish-"

"It's not-"

"But I will have none of this fart science! I'm a biology major, but not that much of a biology major."

You unlock the door to the apartment and snort into the phone you've got between your cheek and shoulder like the way people in movies do and make it look so easy even though you've almost dropped it 3 times in the span of opening the front door and closing it behind you, "Yeah yeah, fine, no fart talk. I'm going to feature this in the next issue of SBAHJ I hope you know that. The farts will keep on hapening." 

"Well I don't even read your comics anyway."

"Dude..."

"I'm kidding, I read every one. I'll even read the fart ones."

"You're the best human being in the universe John, a perfect 5 out of 7 person."

"Yeah yeah, I know you dork. I've got to get going now though, class and all that."

You toss your keys into the keybowl and drop your bag by the kitchen counter, walking towards the couch and plopping down onto it, "Have a good day at work honey!" You say sweetly like a 50's housewife's homemade pie. 

John laughs at you and you both hang the phone up. Unlike John you just got back from class; as much as you hate to admit it you prefer morning classes. Better to get them out of the way, plus the sunset is always nice to take photos of from the roof. You check your slim leather watch, which is off by about 4 hours and 13 minutes but that's just how you like it. According to the watch the sun has already set, which means in about 2 hours and 26 minutes you'll have the perfect opportunity to take a picture of the sunset. 

But until then you'll get to working on your homework for your minor. College has been an up and down road for you, and it's such a wonder how much better it can be when you take classes you actually _like_. A major in photography and a minor in digital mixing is so much better than when you tried to fool yourself into thinking you could get a math degree.

You're good with numbers but not _that_ good. 

Bro probably won't be home until around sunset anyway so you've got the place to yourself. You... wouldn't actually mind if he was here early but you'll never tell him that- not that he would be a dick about it, but you're a little afraid of the possibility of him _not_ being a dick. 

You shake your head out of that thought and shuffle off into your room, setting that thought off to the side. Out of sight, out of mind- you don't need to be thinking about those things about your brother, no matter if he has a sexy picture of himself in an actual print calendar you have hidden beneath your bed. 

Seriously, what's up with sexy firefighter calendars? Not that you're complaining, not by any means oh not at all, but damn. 

Anyway, music, that's what you're doing. You get into your room and plop yourself down at your mixing tables, sliding on your headphones over your ears as you get to work. Making music tends to settle you and put you at ease while you're filled and riddled with anticipation.. Driven, focused. Your music helps you think clearer. Your brain makes connections and you can see things more clearly in your minds eye, neurons firing away like laser beams and shit. 

Despite how much you like your own music, nothing beats the praise Bro gives you when you get him to listen to your music. He actually has an ear for it too, gives you advice sometimes. 

No wait stop thinking about Bro, you did that last time and what was supposed to be a cool dance song turned into a romantic type ballad that you'll never let yourself live down. Fuck that it's go time, get some atmosphere, get some- 

Oh hey it's sunset time.

You grab your camera and jog on out and to the roof. It doesn't seem like Bro's home yet, which is fine, he's doing good out there. You instead focus on climbing up to the top and placing your camera up to your eye, pointing at the horizon line. 

You could say something lame and cliche like the sky's ablaze and on fire with some bullshit whatever. While sunsets make you think of fire, it's not in the typical way most people do. You think of Bro, the smell of smoke on his shirt after a hard day, the way he sighs when he falls onto the couch every night after working. It's the same every time. It's a good sigh. 

You think of blankets and sitting by the tv, you think of takeout and video games, you think about strifes and training under the Texas sun. This is where you can capture your feelings, as reluctant as you are to truly feel them. You aren't oblivious enough to not realize how they make themselves apparent in your photos. 

It may also be because Bro's favorite photo that you've ever taken was of the sunset. 

You sit on the edge of the roof, taking a few shots and just staring out at the sky. It's a nice one today, the kind with some of that rare pale blue and bright pink and orange. An interesting color scheme to say the least but that's what Mother Nature decreed for today. Or something deep like that.

"Hey." you hear behind you. You turn around to see Bro still in his work shirt and jeans, walking over towards you, and you definitely don't smile not even a little bit. "Thought I'd find you here."

"Sup."

"Come on-" He stops walking and waves over towards the door of the roof, "-let's eat dinner."

You crush down the little ember of hope in your chest that he would possibly one day want to just hang out with you on the roof to watch the sunset like the hopeless romantic you are and no you don't have romantic feelings for your bro it would simply just be the act of watching the sunset with someone is sometimes romantic. Which is not why you want to watch it with Bro and okay you need to stand up now. 

So you do, stand up that is, taking your camera and wrap the strap around your torso before following Bro back inside. The trip down the stairs and into your apartment is the most exciting thing of the day, really. But instead of really thinking about all the super interesting details you instead decide to imagine yourself time traveling 10 minutes into the future to where you sit with Bro on the pulled out futon eating Chinese takeout and watching Homeward Bound. Poor animals, they have such a hard road but they get a happy ending so at least that's cool.

And this movie definitely doesn't make you cry evertim. At least not right now.

You're slurping on some lo mein, the movie playing while you sit next to Bro who's munching on some fried rice. It's quiet, save for the few comments you both make back and forth making fun of the movie. You're very aware of the way the side of your foot is pressed against his thigh, which you really shouldn't be it's no big deal, you guys always sit side by side like this. It's not like it means anything, this isn't some invitation of 'hey Bro do you like me y/n', it's just your foot against his jeans that's all. 

You put the rest of your lo mein off to the side because your stomach twists and turns and is apparently Not Having It right now. Bro seems to have stopped eating as well, his food set off to the side and he lays back. Oh wow would you look at that look at those dogs go up this hill and Bro's shirt definitely isn't riding up, and wow that cat. What a lady. His treasure trail is peeking out and the dogs are almost home look at them go! 

You hear a dying zebra next to you and you turn to look, seeing that Bro has already fallen asleep and is snoring away rather peacefully. You look at the movie, then at Bro, the movie, his treasure trail, the cat, Bro's face. 

Fuck it.

He has absolutely no right to be this handsome, especially all relaxed and asleep like this. Your chest does that weird swoopy thing every time you see him and you almost want to cry but not really. It's a stupid intense feeling and you can't ever decide whether or not you want it to keep happening. 

Your hand has other ideas though, unable to stop yourself as you reach out to touch his face. Your fingertips brush along the stubble of his cheek and jaw. His breath is warm against your skin, the crease in his eyebrows are relaxed, his lips are soft. 

It's stupid how often you think about kissing him. It's not like it'll ever happen.

You pull your hand away and sigh, your shoulders slumping and the pang of defeat weighing heavily in your chest. See this is why you hate thinking about this because you always feel like your body is lead and on fire because you'll never be able to have him. God it hurts so much, you'd rather get your head chopped off.

Bro's snoring brings you out of your thoughts again, and you turn to look at him. He's so peaceful, like a puppy. A big hairy stupid strong handsome puppy. An asleep puppy. 

Hmmm.

It's not like he's very much aware of his surroundings right now, though who knows with him. Still, you could, possibly potentially maybe sorta kinda almost kiss him, and he wouldn't know. Could probably chalk it up to accidentally brushing against him, or he did it to himself, or he just dreamed it or-

Regardless you're leaning in closer to him and your cheeks are on fire and you might vomit on his face but it's go time you're making it happen- 

Oh god. 

This is ridiculously intoxicating. His lips are a lot softer than you thought, he's breathing on your face, he's not even kissing back but being so close to him all pressed up against him makes it feel impossible to pull away. He smells nice. 

"Mrff-"

You jump back and your heart has left the building, leaping out and flying across the country to who knows where because Bro just grumbled against your lips and is he awake?

You're frozen in place, eyes wide, heart? Never heard of her. Your skin is ice cold and you feel like you're going to die. 

Bro's still fast asleep, simply turning to his side towards you.

You breathe a heavy sigh of relief and roll your eyes at yourself, dumbass. It's probably time for you to do the same probably, get some shut eye, get proper sleep and all the doctor recommended stuff. So you shift yourself, scooting closer towards the edge of the bed-

Bro's hand shoots out and grabs onto your wrist, and before you can blink you're pressed tightly against 275 pounds of man meat with a hint of cologne and smoke wrapped around you. 

"Bro, let go," you struggle and push against him, which only makes him pull you in tighter. And he's still snoring away. Seriously? You struggle a little more but there's no use, you've been trapped. You're in this now, there's no escaping the arms of Bro. 

You huffs and relax a bit, before realizing holy shit you're all pressed up close against Bro and he smells so amazingly good and jesus christ oh god this is too much. You can feel his own heartbeat, feel how warm he is, hear him breathe. You shouldn't enjoy this, you should go away, forget this, no more unbrotherly feelings for your bro this is bad really bad he'll hate you and kick you out and-

"Shuddup." he grumbles.

You weren't talking, at least you think you weren't but sometimes you slip up those kinds of things just happen but... fine, fuck it. Fuck it fuck it fuck it, you're tired, who cares. No one’s here it's fine, it's totally fine no one cares it's cool you're cool. 

You swallow thick in your throat and tentatively press more against Bro's chest, allowing yourself to relax and close your eyes, focusing on his warmth. It's tough to push away the the 'no-bad-wrong' thoughts but you do your best.

Wouldn't it be so nice to have this every night? To rest with Bro and be wrapped in his arms, held like the most precious thing in the world.

Maybe....

Before you can think more on it, you fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

You are a lot warmer falling asleep than when you wake up though, resting surrounded by warmth and comfort and waking up colder and alone. Your eyes blink open a few times, adjusting the blurry bright world around you into something more tangible and manageable. And colorful. And bulbous. You wake up to smuppets surrounding you, but what bothers you the most is the post it note stuck top your forehead. You grumble like a ferocious bear being left alone like this, or maybe it's more like a frog croak, who knows. It's not like anyone is around to hear you, which is sort of the problem. You take the note and read it-

@work, do good, do your work, feed the homeless, clean all the oil spills, rescue a puppy. the usual 

He really knows your priorities. 

Instead of doing anything on that list, you get up and stretch, and decide to go to a gas station to buy a pack of smokes which you've been meaning to get some more for a while. Do you think about last night on this sleepy noon-thirty (according to your watch) journey down the block? Nope, no you do not. Because last night didn't happen, and it didn't mean anything. You instead think about the crumpled five bucks in your pocket, giving it to the clerk, and ask for a pack of Newport's. 

On your way back home you light one up, taking and drag and breathing the smoke out your lungs with a sigh. Your shoulders relax and ironically it feels a little easier to breathe once you've had your first drag. A lot easier than you would have expected. If Bro knew about your habit he would annihilate you on the spot. But he isn't around much to know, and with him always having smoky smells on his clothes or stale ass sprinkler and fire-hose water, he doesn't really smell the smoke on you. Rose would probably have a thing or two to say about it but you couldn't care less. Well, not without feeling entirely too vulnerable and like you'll cry. No crying for you today.  
Not that you haven't done it before when it comes to Bro.

Against your better judgement, as you snub out your cigarette and go back into the apartment, you think about last night. That was the closest you've been to him in… well who knows how long. Obama was probably changing diapers the last time Bro held you like that. It's ridiculous how achy your chest gets when you think about it, wondering what it would be like to fall asleep in those arms every night. Or even just to see him more. You work on making the futon up for Bro again whenever he'll come home from work like you always do, before going back into your room and working on continuing your stuff from yesterday. The song you make is a little melancholy because your mind is consumed with thoughts of Bro, about him never being home, how you wish he would just... think of you every once and awhile. Just a little bit, just give you a call or something in the middle of the day to say something pointless like "Hey one of the guys here just ate a chicken nugget." 

But no, you get to see him late at night after his overtime and taking shifts for other people, some days not at all because he works so damn much. You listen back to you almost finished song and think about how he didn't used to be so busy. It's hard to pinpoint when exactly he became an absolute workaholic, putting out fires all across the city, but that's what happened. The two of you used to play video games all the time and shoot the shit, hell you even miss the days when he would wake you up at the ass-crack of dawn for some strife training. 

And now all of a sudden he clutched onto you and cuddled you while you both slept. His arms were so warm, and strong. You couldn't get out of those things no matter how hard you tried.  
He could pin you down easily if he wanted to. Could have pushed you onto your back and press down on your shoulders, straddling you. 

You swallow thick and rest a hand on your thigh.

Bro could have leaned over you with some sort of sadistic grin, egging you on to get out of his grip but you both know it's useless; he has you trapped. He'd rock his hips against yours, making you whine as he rubs up against you and your toes curl. 'What's that lil man?' he'd say. 'Couldn't hear you.'

"Fuck...Bro..." You're going down this road again, the one where your hand inches towards the button and fly of your jeans, flicking them open. Your cock is quickly hardening and your fantasy is pulling you back into your mind, fully enthralled in what it must sound like to have Bro's low and husky voice in your ear.

'Bro please, what?'

"Please touch me, fuck me, god anything just make me yours." You breathe out like you have so many times in your quiet loneliness. Heat coils and bubbles in your abdomen when you take your cock out from your pants and jeans, pushing them halfway down your thighs and leaning back in your chair. Your thumb brushes along the tip, smearing precum and feeling the silky pulse beneath your skin. 

Bro would growl, tearing your clothes off fast in some way, which he can because this is fantasy land and anything can happen in fantasy land. Suddenly his clothes are off too, wow look at that. He would return to his place pinning you down, though he'd lift your legs to rest over his while his cock slides up against yours. You've seen it a few times, it's thicker than yours, thicker foreskin, ladder piercings all down the shaft. But that's all you've gotten the chance to see, you don't know what his balls are like, how plump they must be, what they weigh. Or even what his cock must weigh. Feeling something hot, thick, and heavy against your own cock- you shudder.  
Your hand slowly strokes up and down and you close your eyes, dipping your head back and immersing yourself in this fantasy of what could have been last night. He could keep you flat against the futon, unable to move, grasping onto both of your dicks and rock and rub them both together. He's whisper praises, or maybe degrade you- shit yeah what if he degraded you. 

That's always a fun one, to be called a slut _his_ slut, good for nothing but to be his and to be fucked. Your breathing gets a little harder and your stroke in tandem with the image in your head. Praise also gets you right in the gullet, if he called you beautiful oh god, what if he called you beautiful. What is he said he was proud of you, said you are his everything. 

Your cock twitches in your hand and yeah, that praise is really getting to you. Bro rubbing against you and telling you how special you are to him is so wonderfully good, you can't stop yourself from moaning. You drag a hand up beneath your shirt to play and pinch and rub a nipple, thinking about him placing his mouth on you. You take your thumb and index finger, rubbing along the base of the head of your dick, teasing yourself like you think he would. You gently rub up the shaft, poking prodding and lightly touching.

"God Bro please please please let me cum." you beg to thin air, your hips twitching. In your head he nods and presses a kiss square onto your lips, his hand taking a firmer grasp onto you and stroking you faster. 'That's it Davey, cum for me.' he'd say, and you would. You can't deny him, you need this. You need him.

Your hand is a blur until a firebolt bursts down your spine and into your toes, your hips juttering and you quiver as you make a mess of yourself. Your hand coated in dripping white, some of it getting on your jeans. It takes a little while to come back to your senses, your eyes blinking like you did this morning, grabbing your box of tissues and cleaning yourself off. You take another tissue and wipe your cheeks as well.

So much for not doing _that_ today.

This isn't the first time for you, and it certainly and unfortunately won't be the last. You get up and head on over towards the shower to clean yourself and get back to work. Recently you've turned in a project for one of your photography classes, but now you need to start working on another one. In the shower, soaking your body in the warmth of water, you think about it more. The project is supposed to be some sort of documentary series, which could be anything; leaves falling, caterpillars crawling, someone crossing the street, traveling somewhere. It just has to tell a story.

You get out of the shower and wipe yourself down with a towel, clearing off the water and clearing your mind. You'll probably take pictures of the sunset like always or something, just have to figure out a way to make it more interesting. maybe figure a way out to get music in on that, you think while putting clothes on. But no, you're not sure how to go about that. Thoughts keep popping up and getting shut down as you make your way back into the living room, sitting down and sighing. There really isn't much that's all that interesting to you these days, music sure, photography sure, but it's all becoming a little more bland. You could talk to your friends for some ideas but social interaction doesn't really motivate you today.

Your hand brushes along Bro's blanket. There's only one thing that feels interesting enough, a little candlelight flame in the dark. It's not like you have to spell it out in your head who exactly that is, after all you did just whack your dick off to him not even twenty minutes ago. Would he go for it though? Guess there's no harm in asking to tag along with him at work for a day. But the thought of it alone gives you that same aching pounding feeling deep on your chest, like someone went swing happy with a mallet on you. 

It would be nice though. It's been a while since you've seen the guys at the station, and you'll get to spend more time with Bro, if even just for one day. Yeah fuck it alright, you'll do it. 

You get up a little more determined now with that joyful little hop in your step that tells the world you're excited about something more wholesome than other queues would. 

Just like yesterday, you do your work, wait for the sunset, take photos, same old same old waiting for Bro to come home. When he does you both do the same thing of sitting down to eat and watch shit on tv, and that's when you pop the question. Or at least it was meant to be a question but that's not what your brain and mouth agreed on (as if they often agree with each other anyway).

"I'm going with you to work tomorrow.," you say very matter-of-factly with a mouth full of noodles.

"What?"

"You, me, work, we're doing it."

"We're making it happen?"

It gives you a little thrill when he uses your shit like a meme, spinning your heart like a pinwheel, "Something like that. Got a photography project where I'm supposed to take pictures of a journey or whatever, figured I could tag along with you to work to do that."

The silence while Bro thinks about it is deafening. You pretend to not care much while your heart beats thunderously in your ears and all around you, getting louder and louder by the second. 

"Yeah okay. Be ready at five, alright?"

"Cool." you say pretending not to be the happiest goddamn person in the world fuck yes fuck yes. You might as well have asked him to marry you you're so happy to hear a "yeah okay". It's incredible you haven't thrown up your dinner yet when your stomach is turning and twisting so wildly. 

"Don't pee your pants cowboy." Bro snarks at you, which you return back with an eloquent "ptththhhbbttt". You are truly a master wordsmith, the muses sing praises of you and Shakespeare both. 

Unlike last night, you make a point of going to your room before Bro can fall asleep, refusing to suffer in his warm and cuddly sleeping embrace. Not that you don't _want_ to, but given the emotional roller coaster ride you've gone through today you'd rather not dip your toes into that business again. After all you have all of tomorrow to be extremely anxious and nervous and excited about.

Yay. 

Anyway, you get in bed trying to get to sleep, lying there and overthinking everything of course. Your blankets are too hot, but without them you're too cold. The air is stuffy, you're becoming increasingly uncomfortable in bed, lying there with a persistent formication crawling across you. What if he finds out tomorrow? What if they all find out? What if he hates being around you all day? What if there's an actual fire? Actually that could be really cool to see. 

Soon your watch tells you that you should have left about 2 hours ago, which means you've got just a little over 2 hours to get some sleep. That's really fun and cool. Exciting even. Wow.  
You manage to get some shut eye, not as much as a normal human being gets but there really hasn't been any evidence to suggest you've ever been normal to begin with so it's not entirely disorienting. Still, you have light bags under your eyes that you notice while shrugging some clothes on, brushing the morning breath away and off your tongue and teeth, and gather up your camera. It's one of those older ones with film you've got to develop, works like a charm and your baby has never let you down.

Bro's already waiting for you by the front door, swinging his keys around and looking bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Asshole. No one's allowed to look so healthy this early in the morning.

"You ready?"

You let out an unintelligible grumble which Bro takes as an affirmative. You both put your shades on and head out the door, Bro gliding down the stairs while you stumble along down. You get into the truck and let the seat fall back, getting a little more sleep while Bro drives to the station. Probably your favorite form of time and space travel because you basically teleport from the apartment to the parking lot where Bro whaps your arm, "Come on, we're here." You yawn and slowly get up, grabbing your camera and following Bro into the station. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Maybe, it's hard to tell."

"I ain't gonna be shoving you into a whole ass fire, if that's what you're worried about. We mostly do boring shit anyway."

You shake your head and look around the station as you walk in, mostly passing by offices and heading towards the kitchen and break room, "Nah, just uh, excited I guess. Been a while since I've been here. Think they'll remember me-"

"Dave!"

Well that answers your question. "Hey Grandpa, I- oof!" Captain Harley the big bear man wraps his stupidly strong arms around you and picks you up into a big hug, your feet flailing off the ground as you squeak and struggle. He's a goddamn python. "G-gramps.." you croak.

"Oh, sorry about that lad." He sets you back down and pats your back while you wheeze and try to remember what breathing is again, "Nice to see you ole chap! Though I see you've grown quite a bit since Ambrose brought you in last." he chuckles.

You know Bro's rolling his eyes behind his shades at the name, though it's nice to see someone use it without being under the threat of getting their ass kicked. Not much gets under Bro's skin. "Yeah it has. Got a bit of a photo project to work on and Bro's letting me tag along."

"Excellent! Let me know if you need anything, I'm sure the crew will be happy to see you again." he says before giving the two of you a small nod and heading back to his office.

Bro turns to you and smirks, quietly saying under his breath, "You know, it's hard to believe but he's actually chilled out some, the old fart."

You let out a laugh, "No way."

"Mhmm, c'mon, Rox is here, she'll wanna see you."

You perk up at that. The people here at the station have always been like family to you, and you remember Roxanne. Used to call her Aunt Roxy when you used to hang out with Rose as a kid. She always doted on you and ruffled your hair which you kind of hated at the time but now-

"Davey!!" She runs up to you and gives you a little hug before kissing all over your face and yup, giving your hair a good ruffling. 

"Hey Rox."

"It has been too long, what the hell Bro why hasn't he come here more often. Dave you'll come here more often it'll be great you have my permission."

"Wouldn't I need-"

"My permission? Yes you would and you have it, isn't that right Bro?"

If there's one person who could always match Bro step by step in the relentless factor, it was Rox as Bro scratches the back of his neck and sighs, "Guess so, he's an adult and whatever so if he wants to wake up at five every morning he sure as hell is welcome to it."

"Great! It's settled." she grins at you and wraps her arm around your elbow, "Come on, let me introduce you to some of the new folks around here."

"A-Alright." you look back at Bro as you're tugged along who gives you the kind of cocky-ass smirk that says 'you asked for it' and a thumbs up. Jack-off. Sometimes you don't know why you even love the guy.

Not that you do, really, love the guy, the guy being Bro your brother. It's not a big deal not like you wanna get married to him, you only did as a kid cause that's what kids do. But not now no, you're a grown and healthy adult who- Okay no there's only so much you can lie to yourself about before it just becomes utterly ridiculous. 

Rox gives your arm a squeeze and smiles a little more softly at you, now talking a little quieter, "You look like you just went through a haunted house kiddo, is everything okay?"  
"Wh-what? Yeah, obviously, everything's a-okay, really-" you lie, "-no lies here."

She laughs a bit, "Hun, you're not fooling anybody."

You gulp and put a lot of effort into not looking so constipated and scared, "Fooling anyone about what?"

"You've got a pretty solid chance I say."

"At... what?"

She snorts and walks you past the training rooms and into the garage, "It's really a match made in heaven, you're both so perfect together but such oblivious idiots. Though I suspect you aren't as stubborn to see it like he is."

The realization shoots through your chest like a lightening bolt and you freeze, eyes wide behind your shades and oh god she knows she totally fucking knows how the fuck-

"It's okay, if anything I don't think you're in trouble or anything. Not like anyone can blame you for being in love with him, kind of adorable actually." she leads you towards the lockers and sets you down on a bench, sitting next to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "Yes I know it's only five in the morning but I had the night shift so for me it's late night gossiping hours." she laughs and smiles wide, giving you a warm squeeze. "I tend to just know these things so I think you're in the clear if it means anything to you."

"It… Does?" You clear your throat and chance a look at her from the corner of your eye. She looks incredible, she's an absolute angel and you are way too sleepy to be emotionally and mentally prepared for this kind of thing. "Thanks.. I think."

"Yes that would be the appropriate response. Points to you for that one." she chuckles, "But in all seriousness, I can see it. You two idiots are a beautiful train wreck, and it's alright. It'll happen in its own time I think."

"What the fuck?" Your chest lightens and your body releases a tension you didn't realize was building up, "Why was that something I needed to hear?"

"Because you're a dummy! But you're a cute one so-" She shrugs, "-anyway, now that you aren't shaking like a shitting dog, let's go meet some people!" 

You scoff and roll your eyes and you both stand up again. Somehow just a few words eased up your anxiety, not by a whole lot but for now you feel more relaxed about it as you meet the people in the station. You remember some of them from the calendar, and it's a little weird to meet them in person to but they're a lot cooler than you thought. All of them so friendly and happy to meet you, some of them comment and say things like "Oh so you're the Dave he always talks about" or "The legend himself". Makes you beam bright and hot knowing that Bro is talking about you here, and not only that but saying _good_ things about you. Rox gives you a knowing little wink and a smirk which you try to ignore but hell if that doesn't make your morning. Was this the best decision ever? You bet your ass it was.

You meet back up with Bro in the kitchen where he's leaning against the counter drinking coffee. You walk up to him and lean against the counter beside him, trying to hide your overwhelming smile from all the compliments and from Rox encouraging you and Bro talking about you and just... It's a good morning.

"What's got you so chipper lil man?"

"I got to go down the pole." You blurt out. You didn't, and you still plan to because those things are cool as fuck, but he doesn't need to know that you're so incredibly happy about the possibility and the chance that you and him could be together and that he thinks about you while he works.  
You absolutely do not think about how this executive and smart decision could be related to why Rox called you an idiot. 

"Yeah that thing's pretty baller." he murmurs into his coffee mug. "Great for parties too."

Well... there's a lot to unpack with those four words right there, "Parties, huh?"

"It's a pole, what do you think we're gonna do with it?"

Great, another image you won't be able to get out of your head. Damn does he really... for an audience...? That's actually kind of hot, and you think of him grinding against the golden pole, whipping his shirt off and having oil poured on him-

He lightly hits your shoulder and sets his mug down, getting off the counter, "I'm kidding." he laughs. The asshole. 

"Yeah whatever, would have been exciting I guess." you grumble. 

Bro walks to the edge of the kitchen and pauses before turning the corner, looking back at you with another smirk, "Or was I?" is the last stupid thing before he leaves to head on over to the lockers.

"Wait, wait no-" you quickly get off the counter and walk after him, "Bro wait no you can't say shit like that and not elaborate on whether or not you were kidding."

"Kidding about what?" he calls back towards you.

"About... you know.. the pole and shit."

"Sorry I dunno what you mean. It's just a pole."

"Oh fuck you," you grumble.

"Time and date honey!" he barks a laugh, heading into the garage that's become a little more crowded as more people have come in to work. He meets up with the other people there, high-fiving and nodding, saying hi to everyone. You slide up next to Rox again, hanging by her while Bro goes around talking with the crew. He seems to fit in so naturally here, like this is a comfortable place for him. It's a bit of a bittersweet observation because it means back at home he's a little more uptight. 

Captain Grandpa Harley comes in to talk to the troops soon after, telling them about certain things on the docket for the day. You aren't really listening, mostly focusing on Bro and how he's focused on the captain. He seems to really take his job seriously so far, they all do standing around all team-like and such. 

You lift your camera up and take a quick shot of them all. 

From what you can hear, most of the things they have to do for the day is check some fire hydrants and plumbing; Bro did warn you that it might be pretty boring. You're not sure what could be exciting about making sure a fire hydrant is as gushy as you'd like it to be but you'll make it work. Some of the crew heads off in one of the trucks to take care of that, some staying back including Bro to do office and emergency shit. 

There's something about how everyone interacts with each other that makes you feel a little... empty. They all joke around, insulting and praising each other, teasing and comforting. Is this what being close to people is actually like? 

"Yo Dave," Bro's voice interrupts your thoughts and nods you over, "gonna be checking the equipment, figure I could show you a thing or two of what we use."

Rox laughs behind you, "You should try some on Dave."

"He'd drown in the coat, don't even think the lil squirt can hold the air tanks either."

You know full well he's challenging you, and that it's a stupid challenge. Your strength is in your speed, you probably couldn't bench press little more than your own weight. But at the end of the day (or in this case the beginning) you're a Strider, and Strider's stupidly and stubbornly rush into challenged head on no matter what. "Bet you five bucks I can."

"Make it fifteen and you got yourself a deal." Bro crosses his arms, looking smug. It's a good thing you're the one with the camera and not him, you don't want any evidence of collapsing under a huge coat and tanks.

"You're on."

You and Bro hack and spit into your hands, slapping them together in a firm slimy handshake to seal the deal, "Right then, follow me." he tells you.

The heat from the handshake burns as you follow him, the imprint of his hand on yours prickling away at your skin and itching up your veins. You try not to think about it too much though it's a little impossible while you're watching Bro's ass sway back and forth in front of you. Part of you thinks he might be doing it on purpose but that's a very small part of you that you squish down into smithereens, focusing on how to not look so much like an idiot when you get covered in firefighter equipment. 

The equipment lockers are all lined up along the garage wall beside the trucks. The door is open and you can see the sun rising, the crew around getting to work on their various jobs. 

"Alright Dave, here-" Bro takes a clipboard off the wall and points to the first locker with a pen, "- this is our basic uniform. When we get called for emergencies we gotta suit up with all this gear every time. Even if it's just for a little kitten stuck in a pipe; gotta get it all on no matter what."

"Seriously?"

Rox leans against your shoulder and nods, "Oh yeah, we need to take every call seriously."

Bro goes on to point out and name each piece of the uniform and you take a picture of it, mostly of Bro explaining it, not so much the coats and things. You don't really care about those. All in all it's pretty mundane, you follow him around while he inspects everything, Rox dips at the end of her shift to go get some sleep leaving just you and Bro together. You stick close by him with your camera, taking pictures of mostly him. He has a good profile, a good jawline, the way his sideburns blend and melt in with the stubble across his cheeks. He doesn't often let you take pictures of him, and even now he grumbles a bit at it, so you try and be secretive. Your flash is off, helping you take quick non-obvious snapshots. At least you hope they aren't obvious. You both decide to fuck around with the equipment later in the day when it's a more slow time, thank god. You really didn’t want to embarrass yourself more than your physical presence does already.

Once he's finished inspecting everything, he takes you to one of the back offices where he sits to fill out paperwork and the like; who knew being a firefighter required so much damn paperwork. The office itself is pretty cold and stuffy; small with blaring fluorescent lighting and one of those grayish-purple carpets that you know someone probably vomited on before. Bro sits behind the desk and offers you a chair to sit on the other side, you almost feel like you're in trouble. 

"So is this the kind of stuff you normally do?"

"Yeah. It's busy and mostly tedious shit, but it keeps everything runnin' so-" he shrugs. 

"I figured there would be more hanging around and playing cards and all that, y'all got that calendar thing I thought you guys would be doing stuff like that all the time instead of _this_."

"Calendar, huh? You know about that?"

Your cheeks catch fire and you glace away sheepishly, "Uh, I mean, I think you were bragging about it at the time."

Bro doesn't answer, at least not with words. His fingers type away on the keyboard and you can see the faintest twitch of the corner of his mouth move up. You can tell he's making fun of you, or teasing you, or something like that. 

"Not that I uh, look at it all the time or-"

You instantly jump out of your chair as the alarms throughout the station go off, your nerves tingling and flaring like a live-wire as Captain Grandpa's voice echoes over the loudspeaker about a call they got. Bro gets up from his desk chair and smirks at you, "Don't get too excited, like Rox said it could be a kitten-"

" _A CONDO BALCONY IS ON FIRE-_ "

You snort, "A kitten?"

"Could be a kitten there. C'mon, it's your lucky day, follow me."

You can't deny your heart racing a million miles a minute as you jog after Bro with your camera in hand, other crew members jogging past as well. Their more relaxed expressions are now more determined and focused. You get back into the garage and try to stay out of everyone's way while they get everything together and on themselves, making sure the truck is ready to go. Bro, now all dressed up and oh wow you've never actually seen him completely decked out in his gear and wow, okay this is an image you will never get out of your head. The coat is large and heavy sure, but somehow it really flatters his... body. And the helmet frames his face so well, and those boots holy shit those boots. You snap a quick picture before he turns to you and nods at you to get in the truck. "You first, in the back. When we get there you stay back, clear?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Good. Let's go," he ushers you towards the truck and you climb on in, following his instructions and scooting towards the back while everyone else climbs on in after. They are all... very large. Very big and large and you feel like the littlest sardine crammed into the tin of sardines except they're all tuna or whatever is bigger than a sardine. Which is a lot of things really. You're about to mention something like it when the driver hops in and turns the sirens on, and while they're of course much louder from the outside, it really isn't that great being inside either. How is Bro not deaf yet? 

The truck begins to move, rocking you around as it goes fast, weaving around traffic as far as you can tell but it's a little hard to think when there's ringing in your ears. Does everyone here have tinnitus? Do they have ear plugs and just forgot to give you some? You'd ask but everyone looks a little freaky, all checking their gear and checking each others gear. 

A few hills and lots of turns later, you think you might be hearing this siren for the rest of your life when the truck finally slows down to a full stop; you’re here. The driver finally turns the siren off but the lights are still flashing, and before the truck even stops all of the crew is getting out to handle the situation.

Bro doesn't pause to talk to you, instead focusing on the fire.

You're left alone in the back of the truck, and you slowly make your way out into the open. A group of crew members are talking with what seem to be a few civilians, and there are even more civilians standing around all looking at something. It really is hard to not look at. 

At the top of the apartment complex, there's a balcony on the roof for one of the condos that's set ablaze. A plume of black smoke billowing through the air, large flames whipping and flowing with the wind. 

"Oh god!" someone screams, and you turn to look to see someone clasping a hand over their mouth, eyes wide and tearful. You look back at the fire but see nobody there, regardless you take a picture of the woman who screamed before walking a bit closer to eavesdrop on Bro and the crew talking with the people how apparently own the place that's on fire.

You hear something about a barbecue and wooden walls with no fire protection, who’s voices are rather muffled and your attention is drawn to the way the fire crackles and smoke puffs up. Ash falls down around you like a light snowfall. Your heart races and your fingers slip with sweat on your camera, you become increasingly uncomfortable simply standing there. Someone says that everyone's out and nobody’s hurt, which relieves you a bit, until Bro begins climbing the ladder on top of the firetruck. 

He and a few others climb up, stringing the hose along while others connect it to a hydrant. The ladder extending up to the roof of the building and allowing them to reach the top where they hop off with the hose and extinguishers. You almost forget to take pictures of them with their masks on, holding tight to the hose and switching it on, blasting the fire with high pressured water. At first it doesn't look like it does anything to help at all, the wind fucking them up and blowing smoke in their faces. 

You swallow thickly and your eyebrows crease, your tongue feeling swollen in your mouth as you smack your dry lips together. Sweat beads down the side of your forehead and while the fire is large and catches your eye, you can't stop staring at Bro. You'd seen plenty of movies and heard the news enough to know how dangerous this job is, but it's something else to see it in person. He's so focused on the fire, spraying it with the hose while others come in with their extinguishers when the fire gets smaller and smaller. Soon you can't see the fire at all though the building is still steaming, they continue spray water everywhere, covering every inch and dousing it thoroughly. 

And then you see someone with an ax. Damn that's cool. They stop spraying as much water so they can use axes to take apart some of the fencing and gutters, clearing everything out from what it looks like. The biggest worry that's gnawing in your chest is the possibility that the roof could collapse beneath them, it's probably weak or something, right? With the fire and the water and all that. Who knows how fucked up it really is up there.

Well, the firefighters know.

You walk over to the curb and sit down, watching and taking pictures while they sort everything out. The alarms in the building have ceased and people begin heading back inside, but Bro and company continue working. You've known Bro could be relentless and intense on things he's focused on, and seeing him take care of this fire is nothing short of... amazing.

And yeah okay maybe you're a little jealous of the fire because he pays more attention to it than you but you also are aware of how dumb that line of thought is. It's not like you're threatening the lives and well being of others, and if you were Bro would certainly handle that shit. And by handle that shit he would kick your ass to the point that you turned inside out. 

You don't know how long it takes, but eventually they get down from the roof, talking with the owners and making sure everything is okay, figuring out proper paperwork and whatever. Bro comes up to you and takes his mask off, revealing black ash coating the sides of his face, his skin a little darker from dirt and grime, but his eyes are a glimmering white and amber. His teeth though, he's showing teeth, he's smiling. Something a little more wild than the fire. "Caught us on a good day." he says. 

"Yeah no shit, that looked intense."

"Nah, pretty tame. Modern buildings catch alight real easy, sometimes it gets really fucky up there. We were lucky today. We're also heading out now," he nods towards the truck again and you get up, following along and hopping in with the others. They're all joking around and laughing, crows feet striking against the ash on their faces. Even Bro is laughing and joking along. You get that knotted bittersweet feeling again, glad to see Bro enjoying himself, but jealous and envious that he never shows this side with you. 

You fidget with your camera in your hands, pursing your lips and trying not to look so pouty and insecure about your relationship with your brother. Because you're not, you guys are rock solid bros. He doesn't need to laugh and smile around you because he's just that cool, that's the real him, that's him when he's more relaxed obviously. And of course he'd be more relaxed in your company, you, his brother. 

Fuck it, you woke up too early to think too hard about the bullshit that are feelings. 

The truck drives you all back to the station and everyone gets out. People who weren't directly involved with the fire work on checking the truck over, the others take off their uniforms and put them in their lockers, then head to the showers. Of course they're going to shower here. "Wanna come with lil man?" Bro winks at you, light ash dusted across his body even under that large coat, his hair a matted mess, his shirt tight and drenched with sweat. Jesus does he really have to be that hot?

Well, he _is_ a firefighter. 

You're going to shoot yourself in the face. 

"Nah, I'll hang out in the kitchen." you say, saving your ass from doing something embarrassing in the presence of a bunch of naked men _don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it_.

You do just as you say, walking over towards the kitchen and grabbing some water, hopping onto the counter. It's hard not to think about a bunch of naked men standing wet and steamy together especially in a place with a large pole and hot uniforms. Otherwise though, you've gotten some pretty good shots today, you might even get an A on this project if you say so yourself. 

When all the naked men are unaked with clothes on, they have meetings about how everything went and fill out a bunch of paperwork and it all falls back into the tedious mundane. And soon you and Bro are heading on out, if anything you feel even more tied going home than you did going there. No wonder Bro is always so exhausted. You don't even notice when he picks up a pizza on the way home. 

You both trudge up the stairs in you building once you arrive, slowly making your way to the top. The door closes behind you and you take a slice of pizza from the box, "You tired?" Bro asks you.

"Mmmph." yes you're tired. 

"Go sleep, I'll save some for you." he says a little softer. 

You're not sure what it is exactly that motivates you to do this, but you're just so glad to have spent the day with him, seeing him in action, hearing him talk to you for hours instead of minutes. Your cheek is pressed against his chest and you can feel his heartbeat, your arms around his waist. He's warm and soft, you could fall asleep like this, "Thanks," you mumble. His arms don't touch you but you don't really care right now, you can feel him breath, and resting against him fills you with that bittersweet ache you've been feeling all day, "Love you." 

He doesn't return the hug as far as you remember, and you separate from him, munching on a piece of pizza and stumbling on into your room. You're not even sure if you finish the slice before you pass out like a rock.


	3. Chapter 3

You wake up to an empty home, late into the morning with sleep heavy eyes, the edges crusted and your mouth dry. The bathroom is your first stop, and then the futon where you collapse back down. You know Bro's gone for work, it doesn't take much to guess, the futon's already cold. It's not like you had much planned for today beyond going to class and all that jazz so you definitely don't miss him. He's being a responsible adult giving back to society like he should. It's not like he can just spend the day at home for once with you. He's an important guy with shit to do.

Whatever.

You get up and go back into your room, opening the window and climbing onto the fire escape where you get out a cigarette and set it alight. Smoking, the breakfast of champions. The heat in your lungs makes you think of yesterday, and sure the huge fire was interesting but what draws your memory more is the way Bro touched you. The spit handshake, the hugs you gave him. Oh shit you hugged him, that's not something you normally do. 

Oh no, oh no oh no oh no, you almost crush your cigarette between your fingers as panic pulses through your heart. You told Bro that you loved him, goddammit. Okay no it's cool though, maybe it was just a brotherly family thing, just saying hey Bro love you, normal families say that to each other anyway, right? 

You know full well that when you said it you had absolutely no platonic intentions behind it, but oh well guess that's a problem for future you to deal with and present you to anxiously worry about until Bro gives you some sort of sign that everything is cool between you two.

Though why shouldn't it be? It should be fine, right? There's nothing to worry about nope nothing, not at all. You take out another cigarette and light it, letting the smoke lazily float along the breeze. 

It's probably time for you to go to school anyway, you check your watch and sure enough you should have been there three hours ago which means if you leave now you'll be thirty minutes early. Plenty of time to get there. You snub your cigarette and change your clothes, gathering the homework you didn't do and the papers you didn't fill out, shoving them into your bag before shrugging on a jacket and heading out.

It's fair to say that today is hardly as entertaining as yesterday was, going to school and following through with the mundane. Which is all well and good, school is fine and you're taking classes you're vaguely interested in for once so it's alright. But it would be a lot nicer if Bro was with you, or if you could just text him and he would respond, or if you could just skip a day and stay with him. They're all far-fetched ideas unfortunately, but nice to think about.

They make the commute that much more bearable. They make everything that much more bearable. 

You get to school, you go to class, you take your notes, you do what you need to barely pass. You call John, you call Rose, you talk to Jade and pick your nose. You get back home to an empty house once again and continue with the same ole same ole. Working on homework (just the stuff that you want to do), music, messing around with your camera. You're excited to get your film all developed but it takes a whole afternoon to set up your makeshift darkroom and get everything together. 

It's just a gray messy blur of a day, and eventually Bro comes back looking exhausted and paired with takeout food. You take your food just like always and ask, "How was work?"

"Aight." He gets his own food and crosses across the room, going out the door and just leaving. Just like that, probably going to the roof. But still he's... never done that before.

Memories of the night before and your verbal and physical slip up come rushing back and the cold shock of panic spears through your body. Should you follow him? Should you stay here?

Your feet make the decision for you as you take your own food and follow him, climbing the stairs two by two to get up to the roof where you see him sitting on the edge, eating. "Yo Bro!" you call out, "Nice view?"

"Guess so. Go back inside lil man." His voice is short and curt, and he doesn't look your way.

"What? Why? Can't we just eat like we always do?"

"Because I said so. _Go_."

The sudden shift in the tone of his voice hits you almost as hard as your panic does, making you take a step back and almost dropping your food. "What...?"

_FWIP_

A shuriken lands between your feet, expertly aimed, landing in the roof. "Go." is all he says.

You can take a fucking hint, you guess, as you demurely make your way back down inside. It's the only time you get to see Bro and he just... whatever, maybe he had a rough day. Being a firefighter ain't easy after all, it's hard work, he doesn't have to always be okay with it. It's probably a sign of maturity or something to be able to give him space... yeah, yeah good on you. Doing the mature thing, listening to him, giving him space. Good job Dave, that's the key to winning his heart. 

So you go into your room and eat your food and talk to your friends. You don't hear Bro come back inside before you go to bed again. 

The next day is similar in that it's a boring ass day with class and responsibilities and all that. A few more cigarettes later and you're buying a few packs more just to have on hand. Midterms are coming up and they always screw with you, especially when you're brother is ignoring you. A sent text from this morning is left on "read", but that's not too special. Getting left on "read" with Bro has become the norm over the past few years. 

Home is the same as always, working on homework, music, and everything. Hours later the front door opens again, you hear Bro come in with food and hopefully he's had a better day at work than he did yesterday, but when you leave your room to get your dinner, he's gone. He probably went up to the roof or something again, maybe he'll let you chill with him today if it's been a better day. So you go back up there again, and when you open the door-

"Nope."

He doesn't even turn to you, just saying that one word that strikes into your core like an ice pick. 

You go back inside. You go into your room. You leave your food on the desk. You go on the fire escape, and you light up. 

What's going on with Bro? Is he okay? You take out your phone to text Rox about it, see if she has anything to say about it.

is everything okay with bro hes acting weird 

sorry hon, haven’t seen him since you came to the station 

You sigh and toss your phone onto a pile of clothes, stamping out your smoke and crawling into bed. 

Like many things that have happened over the years, you and Bro drifting further and further apart becomes the norm. After a week of this you don't even question it, you don't follow him up to the roof. You've fucked up. You fucked up big time. You should never have hugged him, you should never have told him you loved him, you should never have gone with him to the station. You're just a huge fucking screw up and the most important person to you in the whole fucking world _hates_ you. He won't talk to you, can't stand your presence. God, this is beyond awful. 

You don't eat most days, and you smoke more. It's not like Bro will ever know, he couldn't care less about you. You develop your photos from the station and they come out alright you suppose. You get an A on the project. 

There's one photo you didn't include in your project, a profile of Bro after taking care of that fire. It's made itself a permanent home in your pocket and under your pillow. These days, it's the only time you get to see Bro. Rox texts you that Bro seems just fine at work, maybe a little on edge but everything with him is hunky dory. 

It sucks. It fucking sucks. 

You get one day to spend with him, and as punishment for it he hates you now and refuses to look you. 

Two weeks go by, three weeks. You wake up every morning with red eyes and puffy cheeks from crying yourself to sleep most nights. And you've become a little more... open about your proclivities with your friends.

Rose was the first one to figure out that you are in love with Bro, then Jade, you and Rose together had to tell John and get it through his dense head what was going on with you. They try to talk to you more and keep you company with voice calls and texting and such, and it works at first. You think that maybe you'll be able to get over Bro and be a normal human being. 

But no, because every night you hear the front door open, your heart leaps out of your chest and there's always this small bright sliver of hope that bursts through you as you open your door. And every night he's always gone. Your chest perpetually aches, and god you miss Bro so so much.

It's completely unfair, it's completely and totally unfair that you, his own brother, don't even get to see him. You should be close, you have lived together your entire life, spending every night together, and now you've gone cold brokey. You should be a fire, maybe then he'll pay attention to you. 

You wrap the red cellophane over the bathroom light and get your containers out for developing your photos. There aren't as many interesting pictures in your current film, just random people on the street, the sunset; you haven't been able to get a good picture of Bro in a long long time. Your jacket with your cigarette and lighter get tossed to the side and you roll up your sleeves, setting your shades off to the side and getting down to business. 

At least with something like developing photos, you can lose yourself in it. Focus on getting the job done and make some cool pictures come to life. But for part of it you have to wait while shit happens. 

You cut your film, mess around with it and the paper and the lights and all that, let it soak, and leave it to settle in one of the distillations. While you wait for that, you take your jacket and step into the bathtub, opening the small window just enough so it won't mess up your film. And you do what you've become more habitual to do over the past few week; light a cigarette. 

Things in your head don't connect exactly; it’s muffled, fuzzy, a jungle of white noise. Point A doesn't get to point B in the way that it should, which leads to the fact that smoking right now, in a small space, while you're developing your photos is a horribly bad awful idea. Because all it took was one spark, one spark from your cigarette as you tapped the ash off, a spark that landed in one of your tubs alcohol.

Thank god Bro taught you how to flash step, though you kind of forgot how when the tub bursts into a ball of flame in the room. "Holy shit, holy fucking shit, holy shit oh fuck my god," you curse to yourself, dropping your cigarette in the bathtub and flash stepping the fuck across the room. The fire is, well, hot. Very hot, and the smoke is quickly filling the room, and your lungs. You cover your mouth and cough and wheeze and oh man you're sure you have a fire extinguisher-

Another small bath catches on fire and the whole entire bathroom is smoking and flames are tickling the ceiling and okay it's time to get out of here. Shit. 

You run out of the apartment and jog down the stairs, fumbling with your phone with twitching fingers. Everything feels numb, your legs don't exist, you don't know if your fingers are touching the screen. And your voice is shaking and warbling.

"Hey uh 911? I got a bad fuckin fire, my apartment's on fire jesus christ, it's on fire." Bohemian Rhapsody plays in your demon brain because you can't but wonder if this is real life or just fantasy. The responder talks you through it all as you trip down the stairs, and you give them your name and address and everything before be assured that firefighters will come. And you hang up.

It really shouldn't have taken you this long to realize _Bro_ is going to come in and put out the fire in the apartment that you _both_ live in. But you did also start this fire by stupidly smoking in a room doing something you should never be smoking near. 

It's a fucking day. 

You rush out the front doors of the building, jogging over towards the other side of the parking lot, and you sit your ass down on the curb. There's no fire that you can see from here, it all just looks fine and normal. Good that's good, maybe it's not so bad, no one's going to notice. People will just wonder where the hell that pale skinny kid on the top floor disappeared to. Maybe you'll be a ghost and haunt the place after Bro kills you. Not how you thought it would go but it's not like you have much of a choice right now, right?

And then the alarms in the building go off. Lights flash and the high whining sound of wailing echo from inside. 

You could always run away. Circuses are still a thing, right? Hopefully they'll be willing to recruit someone really fast or something. 

People start heading out of the building, evacuating and crowding around the parking lot; families, kids, couples, people by themselves, people who look like this is the first time they've worn clothes today. Kudos to them it's almost sunset. 

Meanwhile there's you trying not to shit your pants. Your chin is trembling, your hands shaking, do you even have a heart anymore? It feels like it must have run off. Maybe your heart joined the circus. 

The folks seem to have all evacuated the building, gathering closer and coagulating on the edges of the parking lot, chattering away wondering what happened. Some of the kids are crying, parents holding them close and kissing them on the head. They brush their hair back and bob them up and down, telling them that everything's going to be okay. 

Suddenly the asphalt is very interesting. 

Everything hurts. You wish it was only physical, a bunch of bruises and cuts and scrapes you could slap a bandage on and be on your merry way. But there's no getting out of the mess that's your life. You curl into yourself more, wrapping an arm around your body and clutching on tightly. Your other hand slams against your forehead, fingers crawling up into your thick hair and grasping on tight, tugging. The air around you is quickly getting sucked away to someone more deserving, and you desperately wheeze for a piece of your own. Vision is blurry, your face hot, your heart beat thump thump thumping away in your ear. 

It's too damn loud. It's too damn loud and everything hurts and you're going to die and Bro hates you and you're a sick freak and you're worthless and- 

You sob. 

You sob and you sob and you wish this was a dream or a nightmare. And damn this is totally not cool, you need to be cool about this. Calm and collected not wheezing and sniffling and bawling and blubbering. Fuck this fuck everything fuck-

"Dave!"

You look up. 

You didn't even notice the siren of the firetrucks approaching, and yet here they are, flashing brightly as the crew hops on out coming towards you. Bro first, though he doesn't have his uniform weirdly enough, and oh god he's gonna kick your ass he's getting closer and your heart has made a spacial guest appearance to leap through your body and make you scramble to run away-

He hugs you. His arms around your shoulders and your face pressed against his neck.  
"Jesus, are you okay? They told me you called-" He gives you a tight squeeze. "I thought, shit I thought-" You're too frozen in surprise to hug back, and before you even have the presence of mind to do so, he pulls away. He looks you up and down, placing a hand against your wet cheek and brushing over your shoulders. "Nod yes or no. Are you hurt?"

You shake your head.

"Is there still a fire?"

You nod. 

"Is it big?" 

You look away, gulping and pursing your lips together, nodding. 

"Can you tell me what happened?"

Your hand take ahold of the bottom of your shirt, tugging and twisting it in the same way as your stomach twists and turns, "I was developing photos." you croak out. There's no way you can tell him that you were smoking, not like they'll know anyway, right? Probably burnt to smithereens by now, no evidence left. 

Bro nods and pats your shoulder, "Stay here, I'll let em know." he says and jogs off to the crew to tell them the situation before they get their ladders out and move the trucks towards the side of the apartment the bathroom is on and all that. A few go on inside. Bro comes back to you. 

He places an arm around you again and pulls you close, "I thought you- I'm... just glad you're okay lil man. Fire's happen all the time, it ain't your fault. We've seen some weird shit before." As if that's somehow supposed to be reassuring. There's no denying that this was your fault. This wasn't just some random freak accident, this was all 100% you. It consumes your mind that you totally screwed everything up as hardcore as you possibly could.

But not enough to not notice how warm he is, and that he's _holding_ you. He's so close, you can feel the pressure of every finger against you, his forearm, bicep, his ribs. His face is right there, you could even just kiss him. But even this... this is enough for now. To be touched even just a little bit. 

Of course the sourness of it all spreads from your belly to your head, a fowl realization that it took a _fire_ for Bro to be close to you. It has to be some really crazy emergency and big fuckup for him to pay attention to you. Fuck him, no seriously fuck him and his neglecting ass. 

You push away from him and cross your arms, "Yeah whatever I guess." you huff.

Bro doesn't say anything, you kind of wish he would, just to reach out and say a little 'what's up?' or 'are you sure you're okay?'. But instead he just stands there while the other firefighters take care of your massive screw-up, which doesn't take much longer. 

"Hey Ambrose! Come see this!" One of the guys calls out, leaving the building's front doors. Bro spares you a glance (oh why thank you, such a generous soul to pay you a single glance of attention) before heading on over to talk with them. 

Now's your chance to run away, start a new life. Maybe you could be a farmer, get yourself a horse and a little dog. What if you got a whole bunch of sheep and just shepherded them around, living out of a tent, away from everyone here. Yeah, yeah that would be nice. And you totally would do it too of course, if it were not for the fact that Bro has something in his hand, and his body as suddenly become rigid. It's definitely not the light of the sunset making him red, no that's... 

Yeah there's a charred up pack of cigarettes in his hand. 

Anyway it was really cool getting to live for a little while, it was nice while it lasted, guess you better go pack your bags before heading up to the big white puffy paradise in the sky and oh shit Bro's coming at you very fast now very fast- "Bro, Bro it's not what it looks like those aren't mine!" He stops. 

Well, at least there's that-

"You wanna rephrase that except you tell the truth?" 

"Not really." You shrink into yourself and sniffle some residual tears.

"You've been smokin'?"

"Maybe-"

Bro steps closer and shoves your shoulder back, shoving the burnt pack in your face, "You've been smoking."

"...yeah."

"Are you kidding me? How many fucking times have I told you, I fucking _told_ you how many calls we get because someone was smoking, about how these will fuck you up and _kill_ you. And yet you deliberately disobeyed me-"

"What about it?" you blurt out, surprising even yourself. The sadness and panic swirling and bubbling and boiling inside you, beginning to rise up your throat. 

"You fucking _smoked_ and burned our place to the ground!" 

"You don't know that."

"Our place is on fire and it's all because you were a fuckin dumbass!"

"Oh shut up, it was an accident-"

"An accident that was _your_ fault because of _your_ stupid mistakes and not listening to me! You could have fucking prevented this!"

"Oh fuck you!"

"You're right, fuck me. This is my fault, I shoulda done better with you, it's my fault for even trusting you not to do something completely stupid and-"

"And this is the most you've talked to me in weeks." Your mouth moves and makes words but you absolutely didn't give it permission to say _that_.

"What, so this was all on purpose? To get my attention? Cause kiddo you have it-"

"No, it wasn't on purpose." You huff and your lip twitches up, anger washing over you so intensely you get dizzy for a moment. You squeeze your fists, "It was an accident and it was my fault whatever, but holy shit Bro don't you think it's fucked up that this _this_ is what it takes to get you to pay attention to me, you brother?"

"You ain't a baby you don't need-"

"Oh my god, you lunatic, babies aren't the only people who need attention!" You're screaming now, a whirlwind force of a fire tornado bellowing through your arms that you wave about, chest bursting and pushing you to go go go, "I'm your brother, I'm your family, and I- whatever it's not like it matters, who the fuck cares. We used to hang out all the time Bro-"

"Yeah when you were a bab-"

"Oh my god Bro would you, wow I can't believe I'm saying this to you of all people, shut up?! You never even give me the fucking chance to hang out with you anymore or _talk_ to you. You ignore me and blow me off and- throw shurikens at me. I wish we even strifed again, fuck Bro..." you pinch your nose and the emotions come rolling in waves over your, pressure building behind your eyes again in that stupid way you know you're about to cry which you really don't want to but oh well the crying boat has left the station it's beep beep get out the way time. Yeah that metaphor was a wreck. 

"I have work, I save fucking lives, I got shit to do."

"You used to do that shit _and_ hang out with me too, asshole."

Bro licks his lips, looking away and clenching his own fists, "Look, Dave, you're an adult now alright? You should be moving out and getting a job and all that shit. You don't need me around anymore."

"Oh don't you pull that shit, _I'm_ the only who gets to decide whether or not I _need_ you Bro and holy fuck do I need you I've needed you my whole life." Tears are dribbling down your cheeks once against and your chest collapses, your legs weak. Some could even say your arms heavy. 

Weirdly enough it looks like Bro's having a similar problem, glancing at you, and damn look at that adams apple bob. "Dave... don't make me do this."

"Do what? Beat my ass? Go ahead Bro! Kick my ass, hurt me more, make me cry. Oh wait you're already doing that!"

"Kick you out."

That hits you like the train wreck you meant to metaphorically talk about earlier, "What?"

"We'll have to find a new place to live for a little while and... I can't stand seeing your face."

Oh... well see now that _hurts._ "Why?" your voice is too high but fuck that Bro just said your worst fear. 

"You... smoke, you did this. This is all your fault, and I'm busy with work and- you should leave. We shouldn't... be living together anymore."

"No," oh no no no no no fuck that fuck _that_ , "No you can't just-"

"Bye Dave."

NO!

Before you can even have a thought beyond that, you reach out and grab his hand, pulling him back to you. Your arms have figured out how to hug now, and your lips figured out how to kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

You pull him tight against your body and smash your lips together, because like hell you're going your entire life without getting a goddamned kiss from this stupid hot bastard. His lips really are soft just like you thought, and his stubble brushes against your own cheeks. He smells like oil and aftershave and god it's heavenly. 

And he kisses back. 

Oh god he's kissing back he's kissing you back. There's pressure behind his lips and slowly he pushes against you again and again, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you in close. When you've been fantasizing about kissing this man, you didn't imagine the intensity with which you melt. But you do, you melt straight into his arms and kiss him with everything you have. You're so desperate to stay with him, to be close to him, you never want to leave his side for as long as you live and you can't bear the thought of him leaving you. You need him. There's no other way to say it beyond the fact that you need him.

And from the passion behind his lips it seems like he needs you too. He makes small grunts and whispered groans kissing you, sucking on your lips. He brushes his tongue between the crease of your mouth and your heart soars. You're on air, opening yourself up to him, letting him slide his tongue inside and clash with your own. Your hands twist and grasp his shirt, his arms (his delightfully _strong_ arms) hold you. If they weren't there you're pretty sure you would sink to the ground. It's hot, it's so incredibly hot and not in the way that makes your pants tight. Your blood is liquid fire, your heart a boiler, your face on fire. You kiss him and he kisses you and wow this is everything you's dreamt of and more. He's a really good kisser. 

Unfortunately you need to breathe and you both pull away, gasping and panting for air, just staring at each other. He looks just as shocked as you feel, and just as hot. "You taste like smoke." Bro the genius and romantic savant says. 

"You taste like jackass," you huff out, "but at least I know that..." you swallow thick, and ask, "Do you love me too?" 

Bro looks away and furrows his brows, "I didn't mean to, just as a brother, but then you grew up and you..." he sighs, "Doesn't matter, we can't go on like that."

He tries to pull away again but nope, you are not allowing that. You don't care if an entire parking lot of people just saw you kissing your brother (oh wow, you look over his shoulder and yeah that's a lot of people, whoops) you can't let him go. "Why not, huh? Because we're brothers? Big deal oh boo hoo, we can't legally get married or be as public as anyone else but who cares," You're practically growling at him, "I _love_ you and all I want is you. I don't care about anything else."

"That's kind of a problem. You have your whole life ahead of you, a lot of people to date and shit. I ain't gonna be the one to stop you from doing that," He sighs. "Though regardless you know I'm still gonna kick your ass for this, right?"

"Oh yeah definitely."

"Okay good."

"But also I don't give a shit. Not about the kicking my ass part, I kinda deserve it-"

"A lot deserve it."

"Whatever, I don't give a shit about what other people think or about dating other people. At least not right now and not soon and I just, I don't care! I just want to be with you." Baring your soul is not one of your specialties, and normally you'd flip out if you tried, but- well actually you did kind of flip out. There's not even a handle to fly off of and flip out you're just way out there. "Just... don't leave me Bro."

"Dave I-" His phone begins to ring. Ugh, seriously? Way to ruin the moment, the suns setting, there's an audience waiting on you both to kiss again, there's a whole screwing up/forgiveness backstory to this all and he gets a _phone call_ which he reaches down to get and answer.

He puts the phone against his ear, "Yello?" you still have your hands on him with your iron grip, refusing to relent and let go of him for even a second. "Yeah, yeah he's okay." He nods along, listening to the voice. "Uhh, how the fuck did you- right of course Rose somehow knows and you know and the whole bullshit Lalonde circle of stupid ass knowledge is complete." He sighs and you snort. "Yeah..... yeah...." His voice gets softer. "Yeah... but- .... okay...."

He pauses and looks at you, and you wonder what Rox could be saying to him to make him give you the softest look, he almost looks like he's going to cry, "... I do.... I-.... yeah okay. Thanks." 

Bro hangs up the phone and tucks it back into his pocket, sighing and looking back at you. He reaches up to brush some hair off your forehead and quirks a small smile.

"What did she say?"

"She said she'd doxx me and put a virus on all my old porn stuff if I went back to ignoring you and shit and I'm not about to have my good name and reputation ruined." he says and laughs. 

"Oh so you acknowledge that you ignored me?" you counter, the edge of your lips twitching up.

"Yeah, you also smoke and burned our place to the ground. We have a lot of shit to discuss, a lot of ass to kick, we ain't done here."

"So that means...?"

"That means we're gonna see what we can salvage then live with Rox for a little while. Happy?"

You kind of are, and incredibly relieved. He can kick your ass a thousand times but as long as he's still around, you're okay with that. "Yeah okay."

"Good." He gives you a hug and finally you let him separate from you to turn around towards the building when- oh look at that, the genius finally discovered you both were being watched as he freezes up again. 

You place your hand against his back and push him forward, "Come on tough guy, so what they saw us kiss lets just get out stuff and go." 

"I could be arrested-"

"For kissing a consenting adult? Maybe we're just some weird family with a weird way of showing affection."

"We are."

"See there you go, now mush, let's go.” You push and poke and prod him towards the door some more, getting him to get a move on and go inside. It takes a little dragging and pushing to get him to go all the way up the stairs, and as you do the smell of burnt smuppets and plastic and who knows what, fills the air. You finally get to the front door and open it, revealing a kitchen that looks fine, living room that's more or less fine, but beyond that it's absolutely soaked and charred. It looks like the bathroom exploded and pissed itself. 

Well, your photos are definitely ruined. Your room is covered in water but your computer and turntables seem more or less okay. The carpet squelches beneath your feet, everything is in disarray but it doesn't seem like there's too much damage. "Go get some clothes and your laptop and charger and whatever, meet me back here when you're ready."

"Got it."

"Also get your sword.," he says before disappearing into the living room to fuck with his own computer. 

You smile a little to yourself, and go into your room to get what you can. You'll have to get a new camera too it seems, your "current" one has melted, otherwise it isn't hard to get what you need, especially your sword. You hope it means you'll be able to strife with him more, it definitely means an ass kicking, which you are more than okay with. Thank god he's going to kick your ass.

Never thought you'd say that before but well, here you are. 

You gather all the belongings he asked you to get, grabbing your duffel bag and shoving some clothes in along with a few other things. You get what extra camera supplies that’s still left and undestroyed; a shitty digital camera and a few tubes of film. You grab an extra pack of cigarettes because... well habits are hard to get rid of, sue you. You can't take your turntables because they were way too big to carry, so you leave those in your room. It's not like you'll be bored staying with Rox, even though Rose is off at college, Bro and you just got your mack on in the parking lot so who knows what will happen behind closed doors.

That brings up another thing: you have no idea where Bro and you are at relationship wise. You both kissed, and it seemed like he really wanted to kiss you at the time, but does he actually feel for you in that way? Maybe he was just doing it so you wouldn't make a scene or something, not that kissing your brother isn't a scene itself, but it is quieter. 

You think about it while heading back to meet with Bro in the living room with all your stuff, he looks to be all ready to go with a duffel bag of his own, though considerably smaller than yours. "Ready?" he asks you, standing there and staring at you impassively once again. 

You walk up to him and nod, "Yeah, pretty much."

"Good, let's go to the truck."

You nod again, fists tightening on the strap of your bag and the sheath of your sword, you shift from foot to foot and you gnaw on the inside of your lip. It's very simple, it's what all couples do- if you even are a couple. Still, now's your chance to do it, why throw it away? Just this once before he decides he hates you again. So you gather up the courage in you and try to toss your thoughts to the side for a moment, impulsively leaning up close to Bro and giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

Stubble isn't as prickly to kiss as you thought, but you don't linger around to test some more as you part and immediately walk out the door. Your face is on fire and you're pretty sure there's a trail of face smoke behind you. But whatever, you did it, good job. 

Bro doesn't say anything, simply following behind you and locking the door, and follows you down the many flights of stairs down into the garage. You put your things in the truck bed and climb on inside, where he starts up the growling engine and begins to drive off. 

The parking lot seems to have cleared, the firetruck having driven away and everyone back into their homes. 

And it's way too quiet. 

"So... that was uh..."

He cocks an eyebrow but keeps quiet. 

"Okay?"

Bro snorts through his nose but he doesn't smile, his body relaxing and he sighs. "Look, Dave-" oh fuck here we go again.

"No no, I know that it wasn't okay-" you interrupt him, "-I know that I screwed up and blah blah blah. But I'm just... glad you uh... you know.. did the lips thing."

"The lips thing?"

"You know the lips thing. The lips thing that you do with your lips against other lips and sometimes it's a tongue thing or a teeth thing but in this case it was more of a lips thing. Also an arms thing, we don't do the arms thing enough and that was really nice, especially paired with the lips thing. Like cheese and fine wine, lips and arms things."

"Yeah..." he doesn't sound nearly as happy about doing the lips thing- kissing, that's what it's called, kissing. Just say kissing, dammit. 

"Did you like the uh, lips- kissing thing too?"

Rox lives way too close, because he pulls into her driveway before he can answer, "We're here, come on." he says and gets out of the truck, grabbing his things and heading straight for the front door. 

"Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you-" you curse under your breath, doing the same thing. He already has a key to the house, and you find him already inside suffering from an arms thing with Rox. 

"I'm glad you're both alright!" She lets go of Bro and comes over to you to latch on and squeeze you with a very tight arms th- hug. She hugs you very tight before letting go.

And then she swats the side of your head, "And what were you thinking! Smoking?! And not only that but around all of that alcohol, David Elizabeth Strider didn't Ambrose teach you better than that? I'll have you know there will be no smoking under my roof _or_ developing any photos is that understood mister?"

"Wait what? No devel-"

"Is that _clear_?"

You shrink back and purse your lips, nodding quietly.

"I can't hear you."

"Yes ma'am." you say. Jesus this is embarrassing.

"Good, now give me the pack of cigarettes you have in your bag."

"What?" Your head whips towards her and you crease your brows together, "Pack I don't have one..."

Bro nods and agrees with you behind Rox, "He knows better than to bring one."

Rox turns to look at him, then back at you, still looking very unamused. She holds her hand out and places a delicate hand on her hip, "Pack, now."

"How the hell do you know, fuckin witch," you grumble, zipping your duffel open and digging around for the pack before slamming it onto her palm. You cross your arms and huff.

"Dave, not cool man, not cool," Bro shakes his head at you disapprovingly but you don't feel as much in trouble, more embarrassed than anything. You just want to squirrel away into one of the rooms and hide. Preferably with Bro. And kiss him. A lot. 

"Takes an addict to know an addict," Rox says, handing the pack off to Bro to take care of. "I made up one of the guest rooms for you two to set up camp. Stay as long as you need, you have a key so you don't need me to do much but I'll be around. Especially in the mornings on the couch right there all alone and by myself," he laughs. 

"Wait, we're sharing a room?" You perk up.

"Rox, we're not sharing a room, are we?" Bro sounds considerably less enthused about the idea but screw him. Hopefully literally. 

"Yes, all of the other rooms here in Chateau Lalonde are full and... unavailable. So, it's a single queen for you two," she turns to you and winks. Oh bless her, Rox, your fairy firefighting godmother. 

"Rooooox," Bro whines.

"No buts, now shoo. I'll make you both some dinner. God knows you probably haven't had an actual homemade meal with le gasp, veggies in a long time," she waves at you both before disappearing into the kitchen, where pots and pans immediately clatter and clang like a cat going apeshit. 

You ignore that though, looking to Bro a little excitedly, your brows raised and oh hell yes you get to share a room with him. He sighs and rolls his eyes. "Yeah okay, fine." He starts heading up the stairs and you follow behind him in a desperate and excitable silence. The day has been exhausting of course, and you would very much like to sleep as soon as possible, but your body seems to be conflicted on that front. Excitement and fear and anger and happiness and, really a lot of emotions and feelings you've been trying to bury down are now flourishing and burning away at you. Not all that unpleasantly but you've never been the most capable when it came to dealing with emotions. 

Bro opens the door to the room and sets his bag down, sitting on the edge of the bed and once again sighing. You close the door and put your things down too, kicking off your shoes, and flinging yourself onto the bed behind Bro. You lie there on your side, head resting against your hand, hand on your hip, attempting a classic ironic seductive pose. "Hey," you say, trying to make your voice all sexy with some gravitas, "Come here often?" 

He scoffs and turns to look at you, raising an eyebrow and pulling his lips tight into an almost frown, "Look, Dave-"

"Oh fuck off!" you groan and twist onto your back, crossing your arms and pouting up at the ceiling, "'That kiss was a mistake Dave, we should never do it Dave, We're brother's Dave; is that what you're gonna say? Cause you can say it, you've been saying that to me every damn day in my head. Just... get it over with," you huff and snarl. Fuck him, ugh, this is why you don't do feelings. They just-

Bro's hand softly rests on your elbow, and he brushes his thumb along your skin. You look at him, and his gaze seems to mimic that same softness, "Nah, I wanna say those but... shit man why'd you have to go and be hot. And funny. You were supposed to be some dumb runty kid and look at you, now a hot dumbass."

"That makes two of us."

He laughs and nods, "Yeah, 'spose so. But look Dave-" he holds his palm towards you before you can say anything- "I ain't... I don't... this is hard. I... can't jump into this alright? I'm still pissed at you but I shit man, I still wanna kiss you after you did all that shit so I guess I'm stuck here. But, can you give me some time? I can't deal with this all at once, man." 

You knew when you were younger you pretty much hero-worshiped him for the longest time, and it took a while longer to realize that he's human and has flaws. But it still hadn't quite hit you that Bro could be overwhelmed and have a hard time dealing with this. There's a sliver of ache curling in your chest, but it's not that bad. You get it, and yeah, yeah you can do that. 

"'Course, Bro," you tell him, nodding.

He quirks a small smile at you and gives your arm a few pats, "Thanks lil man."

You can't help but scoot up, sitting and staring at him. You can feel your eyes get a little prickly and dry from having them open so wide, "So... does that mean?"

"It means, give me some time." You back away and nod, looking off to the side, and you feel the bed shift as Bro gets up and the quiet cracks of his stretches. "Headin' down to help Rox," he simply says and leaves the room, leaving the door just slightly ajar because for some reason he can't just close the door. It's fine, all good, you don't really care because he didn't outright reject you.

He didn't reject you.

Didn't exactly accept you but hey this is just as good, very good wow. You feel really great about this!

Except you don't. Or maybe you do? It's hard to tell with the jostling ruckus wracking through your body; heart racing, stomach knotting, hands trembling. You could eat all the horses or you could run to the bathroom and vomit what little you have in your stomach. You feel hot and cold and a little sweaty at the same time. It's kind of awful. 

But you're really happy either way. He kissed you, he said... you both could have a chance. Give him time and he'll come to you. You hope he does, both literally and metaphorically. 

Shit's hot. 

You reach down to grab your phone in your pocket and immediately send a message to the group chat with your friends,

the broner has landed successfully. liftoff to commence in 00:?? hours but there may be kissing until then maybe who really knows. anyway bro said give him time but hes cool with it and its whatever. im not squirming in my pants like a preteen 

yeah you are 8) 

whatever makes you happy jade. im only here to please the masses anyway. oh yeah and also i started a fire.

Cue all your friends ganging up on you to tell you how much of an irresponsible doofus you are, though kudos to you for finally kissing Bro. 

Eventually you set your phone aside and make your way to go see what's up in the kitchen and get some food. You open your door and take a few steps when you hear-

"I just can't do it Rox."

Hm, Bro's talking about some Real Shit it sounds like. The responsible thing is of course ignore it and pretend you don't hear a thing by going back into the room or going downstairs. And you did screw up a lot for one day, it's really about time you get started on becoming a better you.

Of course there's always tomorrow, and you sit at the top of the stairs, eavesdropping om whatever Bro's talking about. 

"Ambrose, you're a lot happier when you're around him. Remember when you brought him to the station? I've never sen you smile so much in one day." Oh that definitely gets your stomach all gnarled and stuffed full with some hyperactive butterflies. 

"You're being dramatic."

"Yes of course because it's not like you don't have a dramatic bone in you." Rox sounds exasperated, "Bro, you're still a good person, alright?"

"Nah. You can't come back from where I did."

"Yes you can. You grew up rough, you did some awful things but you've come a long way."

"It's not enough," Bro's voice is a little quieter and harder to hear. 

"Amby, how many hot saves do yo have?"

"112."

"Highest on the force. You save lives every day, fucking Dave isn't going to-"

"Woah woah, we're not there yet no fucking." Dammit. 

"In any case, it's okay. You're still a good person Bro," Rox's voice gets quieter too now. 

"I'm gonna screw him up. Hell, I already have," Bro's voice now sounds muffled in something. 

"Sh, it's alright tough guy. Dave is doing just fine, great even. Spend more time with him, you'll see."

"M' such an idiot that you gotta say that to me."

"Yup. Now, dinner's almost ready, so set the table."

"Right," Bro's voice is more clear now and you begin to hear cabinets open and close, dishes clanging together and the oven beeping. Their conversation shifts into jokes and bullshit so you guess the tough stuff is done. Weird, all this time and you never really knew Bro didn't think we was a good person. Well, he _is_ an asshole but you suspected it was by choice because who cares what people think, not instinct. You've got a weapon now though, not a harmful one but now you've got some supplies for some seduction. 

"You're fuckin amazing Bro," you whisper under your breath and stand up, stomping down the stairs to make your presence known to them as you come into the kitchen. 

Dinner is pretty ordinary, the three of you sitting at the table and chatting away while eating your food. You attempt to play a little footsie with Bro under the table, despite him refusing to play back. But he does let you rest your foot on top of his, so you guess that's something. You all discuss plans, how you'll go to school, no more smoking. How Bro will start working less, he's already gotten overtime and worked a years worth of vacation at least. He refuses to take a few days off for once, but little baby steps. Rox fixes your watch and you eat cake and you all sit on the couch watching a movie. 

Then Rox has to leave for the night, and it's just the two of you in the large empty house.  
The tv continues playing whatever it was you were watching, you weren't paying attention because Bro was pressing his side against you and he is very warm. "Soooo," you say oh so casually, leaning against him and looking up at him from his shoulder, "Sup." 

He takes a peek down at you and rolls his eyes, "Aight Dave," he gently pushes you away and moves himself to face you more, crossing his arms and giving you the subtle but terrifying look of disapproval. "Gotta give you the whole smoking is bad talk, you ready?"

You sigh and slouch back, "Yeah okay."

"Good. Don't smoke. Got it?"

"...yes?"

"Solid."

You cock an eyebrow at him, and his disproving look squishes and squirms into something constipated, "Bro are you okay?" 

"Totally."

"Nope, you aren't," His face is starting to get red, "Bro seriously, what's up?"

His lips press together in a thin line and his jaw clenches, "I am not mad. I am... proud of you, for quitting."

"Woah real-"

Bro lets out a loud gasp and throws his arms up, "But I am furious at you. I've told you thousands of times not to smoke and what do you do, you smoke. You've seen the shit it does to people, I've shown you the pictures. Goddammit it's just as bad if not worse than smoke from a fire and you fuckin suck that down your throat-" you smirk a little bit, "It's not a joking matter, Dave. It's not about dying younger, but you'll be dying longer and it'll be a lot more painful for you. And it's bad, alright?"

You nod and shrug, "Yeah I know."

"Why'd you do it?"

You shrug again, "I dunno I guess." you know full well why you did but you'll never admit that, not to yourself and not to his face. 

"You gonna stop smoking?"

You gonna not be an asshole to me? You want to ask, but you know it'll get you nowhere, "Yeah yeah."

"Good." He sighs and brushes a hand through his hair. "Gonna sleep now."

"Okay."

He gets up and starts going up stairs, and you turn off the tv follow him. Bro looks over his shoulder and huffs, "Right of course, forgot we were sharin a room."

You waggle your eyebrows at him. 

"Hmph," he grunts out, though you can see the hint of crows feet from the corners of his eyes as you both go all the way up. 

It's not like you've had much of a going to bed routine, so it's not long until you've stripped down into a huge shirt and some shorts. Bro in his boxers and work shirt, and you both lie down. Now's the coolest and best part of the night where you lie there and overthink every little think in your life. Bro has his back towards you, and you wonder if it would be okay to touch him, would he jump ship if you big spooned him, could you maybe... give him a little goodnight kiss? 

Even with just a little moonlight coming in, you can make out some of the tone in his shoulders and arms. You're not used to being this close to him and you're almost too afraid to touch him, afraid you might break something. Like some priceless artifact. 

Because that totally isn't cheesy. 

You end up on your side facing his back, and slowly, cautiously, carefully; you reach out with just a finger, and lightly drag it down a small line on his back. He doesn't move at all, just breathes. So you do it again, gently touching his back with your fingertip. 

Your eyes begin to weigh down, and your breathing slows. You end up just pressing your finger against him as you fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Things change after that, not very rapidly, change really does like to take its time and draw it all out. You continue school and Bro goes to work, Rox is either sleeping or pattering around the house during the day, Bro starts coming home well before sunset which is wildly refreshing. It's awkward and a little uncomfortable being around him now but at the same time it's exciting. You try not to follow him around like a lost puppy but sometimes you can't help it. He always tells you when he needs space with a certain look though, looks at you like he's both pissed off and about to fall asleep at any moment. And each time you give him a small kiss in his cheek, shoulder, temple, wherever you can before absconding. 

You don't talk much about the whole relationship thing, but you can see he's getting more comfortable with your advances. Doesn't shy away from you placing your foot on top of his during dinner, presses against you on the couch. At night he lets you explore his back with your finger, drawing invisible little shapes and Sweet Bros and Hella Jeffs. He doesn't go out of his way to touch you, but he doesn't reject you. It's a start, after all everyone has boundaries. 

Since you can't go on the roof here, you instead go onto the back porch and take pictures of the sunset through the trees. More often than not it's like before, you alone with your camera, just sitting there and alone with your thoughts. Sometimes it's great, helps you feel better. 

Sometimes it's painfully lonely. Sometimes you don't feel anything. 

Tonight however, while you're watching the sun dip below and through the trees, Bro comes out and sits on a chair nearby. Not saying anything, just sitting outside with you while you take your photos. 

You are absolutely more flushed and red than the sky, your breath taken away from you and your stomach scrambling around inside you, trying to claw up your throat. It takes everything in you to push down the smile threatening to crawl across your face- oh screw it. You grin wildly like a mad man. Bro's sitting out here with you, just sitting here in your company. Because he wants to be near you. Shit that's so sweet you're going to cry. 

You continue taking your pictures, hands a little shaky, scared to say something afraid you might scare Bro off like a deer. A plus or a minus how you look at it, you're still overthinking everything but it's incredibly comforting for him to be here with you.

You wonder if he feels the same about you.

It goes on like this for a week, he comes to sit with you in silence while you take pictures of the sunset, and it becomes a lot more relaxing. An unspoken ritual for the two of you.

That is until one day he speaks. "Looks nice." He says. 

You have to just pause and look at him like 'well no duh, dipshit', and he looks at you and shrugs innocently. It's just so _him_ and so mundane that you laugh at him. And he laughs too, softer and deeper in his chest. It's these small things that have been happening more and more, the both of you finally sharing a moment of peace, just for you and him. Your heart swells, a swirling swathing warmth that tugs at you towards him. You never let it take over, never let it lead you to Bro. Sitting there and just looking at him.

But, as today is a day for changes, you let it today.

You stand up from your chair, letting your camera slide to your side, you walk over toward Bro and bend down to give him a small kiss on top of his head. Your hand lands on the back of his hair, feeling the softness courtesy of Rox's stolen conditioner, letting your fingers brush through the locks before standing back up. You move to go back inside but Bro stops you, clasping his hand and tugging you towards him. He leans his head and rests his temple against your stomach, so you maintain holding onto his hand while going back the brushing through his hair with your fingers. 

It's back to silence again, but it has never been so loud. 

It's a bright sunflower bursting through your belly, a wave of heat and the tingle of dizziness spreading in pulsing waves through your whole body, your breath shudders and your strength is sapped; he's too beautiful, too wonderful, too cool, you feel lucky that he even lets you touch him like this. 

He parts and stands up. "Dinner's soon," he says, and leads you by your hand back inside.   
Dinner goes just about as easily as before, but Bro now participates in your little game of footsie, and he very quickly shows you just how easy it is to pin your foot down. It's embarrassingly hot. After dinner you clear up, Rox goes to work, and Bro and you go to bed early. You strip and change into your shorts and sleep shirt, and Bro does the same for his boxers and shir-

He doesn't wear a shirt tonight. 

Holy back dimples batman. 

You've seen him shirtless a few times, of course you have, but in this lighting and this context he is... wow. Fucker's got the cockiness of an Adonis and has the body to back it up. He's got abs, not super defined abs, his stomach isn't exactly skinny but he definitely has a lot of muscle under there. And of course you keep your eye one him while you both climb into bed and turn the lights off. 

There's still light drifting in from the window, lighting him up while he lays on his back. It feels a little awkward to be lying on your side facing him when he lies like this, so you try to look to the side at the ceiling, or something on the other side of the room. Totally not staring at him or his rockin bod _right_ in front of you.

You fail miserably, or not so miserably because you get to look at a super hot guy. 

He turns his head to you and looks at you, smiling a little in a way that makes you freeze still and cold. Bro reaches out and softly swipes the back of his finger against your shoulder, "Come here," his voice even softer. It's weird hearing him like this, but it's a welcome change. 

So you do, sit up and shift to sitting on your knees beside him, looking down at him. Bro gently takes your wrist, lifting your hand and placing it square on his chest. He looks at you, pressing his hand on top of yours.

His heart his racing fast and hard, roaring like the Kentucky Durby beneath the fire of his skin. He's nervous. Bro's nervous, or excited, maybe both. Maybe like you.

You take his hand and do the same, dipping his wrist below your shirt and dragging it up, and pressing his hand against your chest. "You too?" he asks, huffing a laugh. You smile and nod.

"C'mere," his voice tender like his hands, dragging them down your sides and helping you up to straddle him. He thumbs at your hips and you let your hands land on his stomach. And you both stay there, just looking at each other. You can feel yourself get half hard but it's not a dire situation code jizz, and he seems to be a little behind you. You're finding that to be more comfortable than thinking he'd be ready and raring to go right away. You kind of lose yourself into it, a shared warming touch between the two of you. Soon he slowly lifts your shirt up, bunching it together, and you lift your arms to help him along. 

You're shirtless and straddling Bro who's also shirtless.

_Nice._

You've thought about this, maybe in slightly different positions, maybe a little grinding involved, weirdly it feels like it's too much at once. Your heart wrenches and implodes, sucking in your belly, tearing and knotting and rearranging everything inside you. Your skin is a little prickly, it's a little too hot, and your mouth is dry. His eyes take their time, trailing a blaze of amber across your torso. Bro grazes his fingers up to the end of your waistband, sliding onto your skin and softly rubbing your body. "Touch me." You almost don't hear him at first, he's so quiet. 

"What?"

"You look terrified. Touch me, you control the show." 

You swallow thick in your throat as he says that, and you try to smooth your features into something more relaxed. "I want this Bro, I'm not terrified." you reassure him, in case he's still having doubts. 

"I know. That's why I'm telling you, touch me."

"Where?" it's getting a lot hotter in the room, but Bro's hands are helping some. Soothing you and rubbing your hip bones, grazing your ribs.

"Anywhere you want."

The first thing that most obviously comes to mind is his dick, but a wave of nausea rushes over you at actually having to do something with that and not be in your fantasyland. You very much want to do it of course, someday you want to choke on that thing and get railed into the bed... but right now you're not sure if you can handle it. So instead you slowly lower your hand, and let your fingertips brush against the ends of his happy trail. You focus only on where you touch, feeling the smoothness of his hair, how thick it is. You drag your fingers in light patterns in the direction his hair grows, starting from his belly button and spreading out and swirling. You feel the crease of his side, rounding over his small love-handle, tracing down the V of his hip, and back up again.

He lays his palm flat against your belly, and gently rubs you along the same directions that you touch him, almost mirroring you. You flash him a small tight-lipped smirk. His hands are a lot softer than you'd expect, his fingers have a few callouses but his palms are silk. Probably from his gloves. 

Your hand now moves up to his pecs, gliding over and touching the curvature of him, the creases. You pause in the middle again, placing your hand on top of his heart and feel him breathe against you. His heart thumps a racing beat, and he feels so alive. Bro's always gotta have his poker face, trying to be cool or whatever. But right now you have proof that he's scared and nervous and excited too, that he _breathes_ , he's _alive._

Hopefully, one day he'll be _yours._

But until then your fingers now move to rub and tease his nipples, drawing shuddering breaths for him. You also forgot that he was mirroring you when you let out a small yelp, shivering as his thumbs play with your nipples. Instinct makes you hunch over, placing both your hands on his chest for support. Your bottom lip hangs and a whine slips from the back of your throat. Bro gives you a cocky look with his handsome smirk, playing with your nipples a little more. It's just nipples, not like he's rubbing your dick, but even still it's a subtle kind of explosive. Bright and booming and making you shiver and heat up. Small moans and whimpers drift from your lips.

It starts getting a little too hot for your comfort, so you move your hands up to his collar bone, and he does the same for you. You let out a small sigh, and give him a little apologetic smile. It sometimes flies over your head that Bro can wordlessly understand you like you understand him, because he takes one of your hands in his, and brings it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. He looks at you with the slightest twitches of gratuity. He's saying 'thank you'. 

You lean forward a bit more, resting a hand on his chest for support, using the other one to trace along his collar bone. It's still a lot to take in, but you feel less sick about it. Your hand brushes up along his neck, feeling the shift from smooth to the prickly stubble. Your fingers drag along his jawline, and you give the dimple in his cheek a quick poke. Now to his chin, passing by his lips, sliding up the side of his nose. You smooth over his eyebrows, and you completely forget how close you are to him, and how he's letting you do this. You know him, you know that if Bro doesn't like something he'll let you know. And right now he's not saying anything, and in a way that's even louder to you.

Your finger now goes to his lips, brushing along the gentle pink, over a few cracks of dry skin. Bro's hands haven't mirrored you in a while, you realized, then you feel them going up your back. A wide palm lands on the back of your neck, and very lightly pulls you closer to him. You can probably count on your hands the number of times you've been close to someone's face like this, and it still doesn't quite feel natural, but it feels _right_.

So you let him pull you into a small, soft kiss. Nothing as wild as the kiss from the fire before, but it is just as intense. The heat drips from his lips onto yours, coursing through your body, making a nest in your stomach, a fist sized knot of scorching tension.

You part from him, pulling away just a small bit to look at him. He looks back, "You alright there?"

"I think so," you laugh a little at yourself, before shifting onto your side. You take your leg off of him and nestle into the crook of his side, resting your head against his bicep. You hand slides across his stomach almost hugging him. He arm wraps his arm behind you, pulling you closer against him. His other hand rests on your arm, and he brushes his thumb against your skin. 

It's quiet. It's loud. You feel sick. You feel _amazing_. You feel hot. 

"Good night," you say, sighing against him.

You feel his soft lips against your forehead, giving you a kiss, "Night."

Neither of you go to sleep quickly, remaining silent and lying together in the dark. You want this to be normal. Not like this is so wildly abnormal, but in the sense that cuddling up to Bro every night becomes the natural thing to do. So it feels like you're not about to puke. You love this, this is everything you've wanted of course, you're just not used to it yet, that's all. 

The last thing you remember is moving your hand to slot your fingers in between his, and him squeezing your hand. 

You wake up a little bit in the morning when he gets up to leave, not that you remember it very clearly. "Go back to sleep." You think you hear, and you do.

It's hours later when you get up, yawning and stretching, clearing your throat and scratching yourself. Soon you remember what happened the night before, and for some reason for the rest of the day you just can't stop smiling. Rox teases you about it, but hell you're excited. You're finally getting somewhere with Bro and you could not be more happy about it. You wait for him to come home all day like a lovesick housewife, which actually sounds a little appealing and kind of cute. Damn now you want to be Bro's housewife and cater to his ever command all day and okay, back to more wholesome thoughts. 

About the time that he's supposed to come home, you lounge around the living room trying to look as casual as you can because you're obviously not going to make it look like you were waiting for him to come home all day. When he does come through the door, you get back on your phone and swipe your thumb across the dark screen, "Sup," you say without looking at him.

You peek out to look at him though just above your phone screen. 

He's raising an eyebrow at you, "Am I supposed to buy that?"

"Two for one baby," you snort back at him. 

"Uhuh. Here," he says before tapping his chest and sticking his arm out.

"What am I, a dog?" you grumble as you get up anyway and walk towards him, though secretly excited to get close to him and wrap you arm around him. Maybe even give his cheek a little kiss. The stubble pricks your lips. 

"Apparently. You've been waiting for me all day," he just _casually_ says that like he's not reading your mind, and he walks with you to the couch.

"Nah, not really," you try to make it sound like it wasn't that needy but you were definitely needy all day you just-

"Kinda cute."

"What?"

Bro's cheeks flush and he gives you a small squeeze, "Don't make me say it again," he forces out from gritted teeth and holy shit isn't that precious. 

"Sorry Bro I don't think I heard you, could've been anything. You might've said something about giving me you big fat long-"

"I said you're kinda cute."

"You think I'm cute, holy shit Bro my kokoro is going full doki doki for you."

"Okay yeah, laugh it up. I have feelings too," he huffs and looks to the side. 

You stop him and push yourself up to your tippy toes to kiss his cheek then tuck your head under his neck. "You're cute too Bro."

He leans his chin against you and pulls you just that smidge closer, "Would prefer badass, hot, smokin hot, sexy, handsome-"

"You're an ugly bastard."

It's nice to hear the rumbles of his chuckles against your cheek. "Close enough."

You both sit down on the couch, tucking yourself against Bro's side and still leaning against his broad chest. The TV isn't on, there's no music, Rox is out for the rest of the night as far as you know. It's simply Bro and you sitting in the calm quietness of the house, listening to his beating heart.

Your arm is looped over his stomach, and you take his hand in yours, rubbing your thumb over the knuckles and tugging at his fingers. His hands are bigger than yours, thicker and stronger, more controlled.

A stray thought thinks about how 3 fingers could easily be as thick as a good sized dick.

Your face heats up and you tuck yourself closer to him, enjoying his warmth and company. It would be a dream to do this every day. To sit with him, hold him, touch him. God do you want to touch him. You want to be the one that makes him come undone, to make Bro of all people fall apart. Because he loves you. At least you think he does, he's definitely interested in you.

But knowing that he loves you is something you now realize you want so deeply and wholly. You want him to think of you like you think of him, to dream about you, to jack off to you, to think that every moment spent not in the room with you leaves an ache in his chest. Your belly swoops and dips low at the thought.

However, the idiot has bullshit holding him back. 

You link your hand with his. "You're not taking advantage of me."

"Hm?" He leans down to hear you better.

"I want this, I mean."

"What makes you say that?"

"I heard you the other night, talking to Rox, talking about how you don't want to take my life away from me-"

"Dave-"

"And I think that's dumb. All I want is you, I don't care about dating other people. Plus it's not like we're getting married."

"Dave this is what I mean, you're too... I can't be so important to you."

"Bullshit you can't." You push yourself up to look at him face to face. "You're the most important person to me ever, period."

"That's the problem." He looks so stern and serious, his brows creased and jaw clenched.

"What the hell kind of problem is that? That's not a problem, that's the opposite of a problem unless we were strangers and I was just stalking you. But we're not, we're brothers and... boyfriends? Brother friends? I don't know the right terminology for our exact situation but you know what I mean."

"I don't want to do this now, Dave."

"What, you don't want to be my brotherboyfriend?"

"Not that-"

"So you do wanna be-"

"No, stop, Dave. I don't want to argue with you."

You don't get what the problem is, and quite frankly, it makes you a little upset. A concoction of fear and anger bubbling inside you, "Fuck that-" You huff and cross your arms, "-Bro you're being stupidly obtuse about this, I don't see why-"

"You have a life Dave. I dont need to be a huge part of it."

Your fists tighten and you tug on the sleeves of your shirt. Fuck him, you could just... just... You slap him. Right across his face, your palm tingling and flushing a red close to the red on your face. "You don't get to decide shit like that."

Bro, for once, takes the hit. He actually even looks surprised, it's not often you catch him off guard. But, of course, he quickly turns the tables. A calm settles across his features, the calm of something burning just below the surface. "Backyard. Strife. Now."

Before you can say a word, he flashsteps from your side and disappears.

Well, fuck.

You sigh and you huff and you grumble going up the stairs to grab your sword, going down and out to the backyard. Bro stands there with his back towards you, sword hanging by his side. The tip shines in your eyes and it's drizzling out here. Water coagulates at the tip, dripping onto the grass, dripping on his skin, now dripping on you. 

Dramatic asshole.

"Fuck off Bro, you can't avoid-"

He launches himself at you and you block just barely in time, the impact echoing into your shoulders and you grunt. Well, apparently he can avoid talking it out. 

You push him back and he moves willingly. Your thoughts streamline and focus onto know weak pointand strategies, planning out your- 

"Shit!"

Fuck you forgot to get out of you head. Bro darted to the side and slammed into you which you answered back with a clumsy fall and roll back onto your feet. Alright fine, improv time.

You rush at him, not planning a single thing until you're inches away. That's when you duck and go for his side too, but he blocks you. Not only that, but he pushes you off a few feet. The wet ground makes you slide back, but you don't let that stop you from a counterattack. In fact...

You charge at him again. This time when you get close you drop down to the ground and you slide between his legs. You hop up and attack him from behind, but he grabs your wrist and throws you back onto the ground.

Screw this, screw him. You launch yourself at him again, this time now attacking directly to his front. He blocks it easily, but you don't relent. You strike, he blocks. Strike strike strike, block block block. You're breathing hard and heavy, your throat aches, your shoulders ache, but fuck it you can't back down. 

He turns the tables again.

This time he blocks and pushes you back, before doing the same thing to you; relentless and ruthless rapid fire striking swiftly against your sword. Sparks fly and you block block block as he strike strike strikes. Your muscles are on fire trying to attack and defend against the unstoppable force of Bro. 

He's so beautiful.

You're both drenched in sweat and rain, at a standstill of attack and blocking. Until he hits your fingers just right, and your sore hands make you drop your sword.

He places the tip of his sword against your throat, tilting your chin up.

You swallow.

He’s still.

You stare at him.

He stares back.

You've been defeated.

He….

You expect him to yell at you, make you do a shit ton of chores, make you go to your room or something. 

He doesn't.

Time stands still and not even your watch ticks away.

Before you can blink, Bro tosses his sword next to yours and grasps onto the collar of your shirt. He pulls you in close and mashes your lips together in a harsh kiss.

He grabs at you, tugging you against him with a desperation you've never experienced. You need him just as much too, curling your fingers and latching onto his shoulder blades. You can feel his strength between each kiss, rushing at you and taking you on, and you reply with equal enthusiasm and your own strength. 

You nip and bite at him, and he retaliates by biting you harder, and sliding his tongue down your throat. Of course you moan, was that even a question? But that doesn't mean you back down.

Warring tongues pressing and pushing against one another. He tastes like sweat and rain. He’s stronger than you, that's always been obvious, but he doesn't completely overtake you like you know he could. He lets you fight, lets you bite him and suck, lets you bruise his lips like he bruises yours.

You part and pause, staring at each other, panting and gasping for breath. What were you even talking about? Oh yeah that's right, goddammit.

"Bro-"

You can barely get his name out when he picks you and and slings you over his shoulder, carrying you back inside. 

"Woah hey wait Bro, you can't just- ah!"

He slaps the wet denim on your ass, "I can feel your dick."

Well... you swallow. Your cheeks brightly blush and yeah okay Bro talking about your dick is pretty hot. "Yeah but... " you kind of want to continue your conversation, but you dont want to ruin the moment. "Brooo-” He slaps you again as he starts up the stairs. “-aahn!"

That draws a laugh. "Pegged you for a masochist."

"Shut up." Even though he's right. You absolutely want to be broken in by him, by god you want it bad.

At the top of the stairs, he goes into your room and closes the door and drops you onto the bed. You bounce a little before sitting up on your elbows, legs dangling off the end, looking up at him.

Oh wow he is... soaked. His muscles are showing through his shirt, his skin shining with sweat and rain. And that look; he's glaring at you, but the corner of his flush red lips are quirked up.

You've never been so hard in your life. And also terrified. 

"You want me now, kiddo?" He taunts you, and it makes you shudder.

"Y-yeah."

"Sorry didn't catch that."

"Yes, yeah, yup, absolutely, yeah," you nod you head vigorously. 

"Ready for what?"

Ah jeez. You roll your eyes and push yourself to sit up more, "Ready for... you."

He chuckles at you, his shoulders shake and he smiles crookidly, like he's about to eat a huge steak. "Gonna have to be more specific than that."

"I..." You are not good at this. You can't just tell him, "I uh, your dick, in or on me that would be pretty cool."

Bro snorts and steps closer to you, his crotch just about at your eye level. He is definitely hard under there, that sausage is packing some heat. And it's... right there. Covered, sure, but Bros dick is right in front of you. He's basically inviting you to do the sex with him.

That same sick feeling from last night rises in you, along with the molten swirl of excitement and anger from strifing. You want to wreck him. You want him to wreck you.

You want him to love you.

But you absolutely wouldn't mind choking on his dick first. "Fuck me." you say quietly, then look at him more assuredly and puff your chest out, "Fuck me Bro, please. My face, my ass, just... I need it." 

You heart is pulsing through every inch of your body and you're so scared and so in love. You trust him. 

He steps closer, now his crotch is just inches away from you. His hand drops to your wet hair, smoothing it back from where it's plastered to your forehead. "Then get to work."

You get chills and shiver, your breath is shaky and your mouth just falls open. You scoot forward towards the edges and you spread your legs to make room for him, and now more than ever are you aware of your hard on constrained by your jeans. You breathe and stare at the belt buckle and fly in front of you, the bulge beneath his pants. This is it, it's happening, you're going to touch Bro's dick.

He brushes through your hair again and you sigh; okay, you can do this. 

You reach out and tug at his belt, pulling it out from the loop at undoing the buckle. Next is the button and then, breathe, the fly. You zip it down slowly. Your fingers find their way to the hem of his pants and his boxers, and you tug them down. The water from the rain makes it stick against him, harder to pull down. But you do, down enough to reach in a pull his cock free.

"Wow..." You can't believe you literally just said that out loud though you also can't believe that you're actually holding Bro's dick. It's heavier than you thought it'd be, girthier. You can wrap your hand around it well enough. But what you focus on the most are the piercings. You brush your thumb along the shining metal ladder all down his shaft, softly experimenting and stroking him, feeling the silky skin glide over the pulsing heat beneath.

You lick your lips.

You decide to just go for it and lean forward, wrapping your lips around the head and gently licking the tip. His hand slides to the back of your head, not pushing you, just setting it there. You slowly move in closer, taking more of him into your mouth. He's sour and sweet and there's a distinct taste of him. Your tongue drags against the bottom, against his piercings, and he groans.

"Good, Dave. Take in as much as you can."

You moan and muphled murmur of agreement around his dick because yes you absolutely want to do that. So you push yourself closer, placing your hands on his thighs, closing your eyes and letting him sink in. You try to relax your throat to take him deeper, but it's been a while since you've deepthroated. Your throat closes up and you cough at bit and drool drips from your lips, so you begin to pull away.

Or at least try to; Bro's hand stops you, "Tap twice if it's to much." He groans out.

Your eyes rolls to the back of your head and you instinctively buck your hips. God that's hot, and you are not tapping out right now. His cock is lodged halfway down your throat and you can barely breathe, but the weight feels heavenly on your tongue. You cough and spit around him, and a pressure builds behind your eyes. Tears fall down your cheeks and cough more, his cock pushing and pressing against your tiny throat oh god in heaven. His cock is in your throat, you're literally choking on him, you might just make a mess in your pants.

It gets a little much though, so you tap his thigh twice and he immediately let's you go. You pull away and gasp, blinking your teared bleary eyes, your mouth hanging open with a string of saliva still connecting you to his dick.

"Oh fuck." You croak out, your voice already hoarse. 

He brushes a thumb along the drool coating your bottom lip and laughs, "Seems like you were meant for this kinda thing."

"Hmwhat?" You've forgotten words.

"Suckin my cock."

Yeah nope, yeah that sums up your entire life right now. Photography who? Bro's dick is the most important thing in your life right now: fact. 

He brushes through your hair again, "Want more?"

"God yes," you don't even wait for him to give you the go ahead, you're already shoving yourself onto Bros dick, getting him as deep as you can. 

You stay down longer this time before pulling back up, spending a healthy amount of time gasping and choking and crying on his dick. Again. Then again. Over and over pushing yourself to take more of him in, drunk and intoxicated by it all. You want so much more, you want to bounce on him, scream for him, let him rail into your ass and set you on fire. 

The next time you pull out, gasping and panting for air, you just tell him, "Fuck me, fuck me now. Please Bro please I need you in me right now, in my ass. I want you to break me holy shit, snap my like a goddamn slim jim."

"Strip."

It's just one word but it's the most powerful word you've ever heard because it hits you like a hurricane force wind, reverberating through your veins as you immediately take your shirt off and toss it. Yeah you might be a little over excited but who cares, you're so turned on you'd do anything to get off and that fact alone turns you on and the cycle continues. 

Bro just watches while you pull your pants and underwear off fast enough to leave burn marks on your legs. Your dick stands proud in the air, red and begging to be touched. You're even dripping with pre. The whole thing just makes you want to lie back and spread yourself open for him, to let him use your body like one of his smuppets. You want literally all of your thoughts to just evaporate from the sheer power of Bros cock.

"Hands and knees, ass to me."

Now the bed has burn marks from how fast you turn around, and you make up for all the potential yoga classes you could have taken up until this point by downward dogging your heart out. You bend over, letting your chin rest over your crossed arms and arching your back, presenting yourself to Bro. Here's a nice tight hole just for you Bro, have at it. He rests his hands on either side of your waist, gliding down and around your ass. You may or may not have wiggled a little at him. Your cock hangs below you, neglected and alone.

It takes you a moment to realize the next touch is him kissing the most bulbous part of your ass, soft laced on soft skin. "Aw Bro, I didn't realize you could actually kiss ass." You snicker, "You know you don't always have to have me nak-"

SLAP

Bro slaps your ass and you jump forward, letting out a small moan and a yelp while your ass is set deliciously ablaze. "Alright alright I get it. Don't be mean to the Bro or else I get spanked, right?"

"You're gonna get spanked no matter what you do," and just to prove it, he spanks you again.

SLAP

"Oh fuck Bro, yes, yes, yes, god, yes," you groan into your arms, your cock twitches and drools beneath you. He snickers behind you before kissing your ass again, now on the tingling heat from his spanks. Then another, now a little more centered from that. Then another, close. Another, closer. Another. 

His hands are on either side of your ass, spreading you even wider for him. And then Bro doesn't the best thing he's ever done for you ever: he licks. A long wet stripe from the base of your balls all the way up to your hole. "Hnggh fuck Bro, lick me, taste me, say what you want about me-"

He pulls away, "Dave-"

"All of the boys and all of the girls are beggin to lick-"

"Dave you are not adapting Britney Spears songs to me eating your ass."

"You just talked out loud about you Bro, eating me, Dave's, ass. So I think I can agree to that trade off."

He laughs behind you but sure enough he gets back to licking. His tongue is a wet and slides against your taint; you really hope you taste good. He laps against you, kissing, licking, sucking maybe? To be honest it's a little hard to tell what specifically he's doing but whatever it is he's doing it really well. You feel one of his hands slide off you but sure enough you hear a mysterious "click" behind you.

A mysterious and quite fortuitous "click". 

Both hands are now off your ass, before Bro begins rubbing at your hole with a warm lubed finger. His kissing migrates back to the more fatty parts of your ass as he dips and presses his finger harder against you. Then he begins slipping it in. 

"Christ Bro, I think I have a dildo the size of your finger," you moan out.

"I hope you've tried bigger," he doesn't stop pushing his finger in. 

"I think you'll be happy to know that I've taken Chance before-"

He _groans_ at that. Bro actually groans at what you just said, and to be honest you really don't care what the sentence is even about. He groaned at a thing you said and that alone is extremely hot. He also buries his finger deep inside you with one swift push which makes you groan harmoniously to his groan. 

He begins pumping his finger in and out of you, drawing more noises and babbles from your mouth. The ass kissing has stopped but you really don't care because of the finger in your ass.   
And soon it turns to two fingers. You clutch and grasp onto the sheets, panting out and now gasping between your moans. "Oh, Bro," you breathe out. Your belly pulses with heat, swooping and dipping low inside you. You spread your legs a little wider and start pushing your ass back with each time that Bro completely sinks his fingers, "Goddammit Bro, just, skip anymore fingers I don't give a shit-" you yelp as his fingers press deeper and harder against you, seemingly finding your prostate- "fuck me right now you bastard."

His fingers begin to pull out, and once out you feel achingly empty. You wait patiently because this is the first time Bro is going to fuck you and you have been dreaming for this day much longer than would be appropriate. Then you feel the wet press of the tip of his dick against you, sliding and lightly poking at you. "Gnnrr please Bro," screw being patient. 

"Please what?"

SLAP

"Fuck me!" 

SLAP

"Louder."

SLAP

"God Bro please fuck me!! I need it I need your cock inside me right the fuck now. I want to scream-"

SLAP

"Fnnggk! I want to be-"

SLAP"

"Your!"

SLAP

"Slut!"

…

He doesn't spank you again, he doesn't push himself inside you beyond the tip, staying there ready to fuck you. "You want to be my slut?"

Oh fuck you just said that, didn't you? That's definitely something that's been on your mind for sure but of course there's more to your goals than that, "Yeah, well I mean. I want to be your partner too? Like your boyfriend but also best friend and brother. All the b words-"

"But in the bedroom you're my bitch."

Your eyes rolls back and you moan, "Well shit Bro when you say it like that-"

SLAP

"Get back to groveling for my dick, slut."

Bro is going to kill you, he's actually genuinely going to kill you. "God yes please I need you cock so bad I fucking live for it."

He begins pushing himself in.

"Oh yeah, that's the ticket, there it is. Fuck me fuck me fuck me, oh god _fuck. me_."  
Deeper and deeper inside, stretching you wider.

"You don't know how many fucking times I've jacked it to you, you hunky son of a bitch."  
You can feel every bump from each piercing popping inside you.

"Thinking about you fucking me into a mindless heap of human."

He's almost sheathed inside.

"Fucking wreck me Bro, god please, destroy me- FUCK!"

Bro slams into you, burying deep the last of his cock inside you. "Good boy."

You crumble to bits, a shiver crawling across your body, "Fuck Bro, holy shit."

"The praise kink is pretty obvious. Now you just sit tight while I take care of you, alright?"  
You nod your head and muffle an affirmative, which is answered with a gentle pat on your poor sore ass. 

'Taking care of you' to Bro apparently means exactly what you would hope it means, which is fucking the lights out of you. He pulls away a bit, then slams into you, his hips hitting your ass. Which he didn't even bother to take his pants all the way off as you feel the scratch of denim. He does it again, this time pulling out farther before thrusting into you. You yelp and moan with each one as they increase in frequency. He goes faster and faster. Your chest is sucked into a black hole in your stomach, your extremities curling and tingling. 

"Fuck-"

_Thrust_

"Bro-"

_Thrust_

"Yes."

_Thrust_

"Yes!"

_Thrust, thrust._

"YES!"

He hammers into you hard and fast, making all your dreams come true as Bro fucks you like the slut you were always meant to be. His cock is thick and gives you a good stretch, slippery and hot; each piercing is a magical delight each time he enters and leaves you. His hands grip your hips, pulling you closer to him with each relentless shove. His jeans scratch at you witch is hot, adding to the whole clothed/naked domming thing he seems to be a fan of. Which is great because you are absolutely a fan of it too. 

You reach down to wrap a hand around your dick, stroking yourself to the rhythm of Bro pounding you into the mattress. "God, I'm close."

"Then cum."

There's really no denying a command like that. With your body being a ragdoll and getting plowed, it only takes a few more strokes until you really do scream out his name, "BRO FFFFFFUCK!" You cry out as your body goes into shock. Your dick pulses and twitches, spilling onto the bed. Every inch of you tingling and sparkling like fireworks and bombs; hot, shocking, explosive. Your belly drops, your fingers and toes curl, your thighs quiver and shake.  
You're pretty sure you cum so hard you black out for a moment. 

You hear Bro groan behind you and his thrusts stutter, slowing in frequency but increasing in force. Until he slams into you one more time. You can feel his cock throbbing and filling you deep with his hot load. It's about all you can figure out, your senses incredibly dulled, you brain not working properly. Though to be fair, it's not like it was working properly up until this point.   
A little shuffling and shifting around, soft things rubbing you, kisses and gropes.

You find yourself now lying on your side, a hefty Bro arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you close to him. It seems like he decided to join the naked party too, the dust of hair on his chest brushing your shoulder blades. He kisses your shoulder, "You good?"

"Hell yes," you sigh, realizing you've been smiling wide this whole time, so tired and so elated from just, everything. "Damn Bro, that was better than I've fantasized before."

"You've said that twice." He kisses your neck, "Get some rest."

"Mhhmm, okay." Your eyes are already closed. And soon in the warmth and comfort of Bro surrounding you; you fall asleep quickly in a happy haze.

You only remember that you had an argument and what it was about the next day.


	6. Chapter 6

He's back from work again and you sweetly join his side like you did yesterday, you don't get the chance to bring up the subject again until it's time for dinner. Your foot slips off his and he takes advantage of it, placing his foot on top of yours and pinning it down. You take a bite of your spaghetti, "Do you think we could get a dog when the apartment's all fixed up?" You ask him, "Could raise it together."

Bro sets his fork down and raises a brow at you, "I guess. But what happens when you move out?"

"Who said I'm gonna move out?" What's Bro on about?

"Well, come on Davey." You watch him, narrowing your eyes when he takes a swig of water. "How long do you think this is gonna last?"

And so it happened again. The two of you fought, Rox left early for work. You and Bro strife outside, then get dragged back into your room to get fucked within an inch of your life. Every single time the two of you get into that same argument, it happens. A few days later Bro fucks you in the middle of the living room, the next day he pounds you in the kitchen, a week later you bounce on his dick shamelessly moaning and wailing. On one hand you've come to love these intense fuck sessions. Just you and Bro, hot and heavy, sharing bodies. It's passionate and hot and _god _you've never felt anything like that before.__

__But he keeps arguing with you._ _

__Bro claims that the two of you don't have a future together, that you need to go on with your own life. Like he's going to hold you back and fuck up the rest of your life if he makes you stay. And yet he continues to ignore the fact of how many fucks you give about that which is zero. Zero fucks given to that and those ideas right there. Your life would be ruined if you never had the chance with him._ _

__Plus it would be nice to try some slower sex with more talking beyond, "Fuck me Bro!" And other gibberish that falls from your mouth when you're full of Bro's cock._ _

__A few weeks after the first time he fucked you, Rox approaches and sits by you on the couch, "Hey kid," she whispers it like a secret, "Wanna buy some feelings jams?" And she hands you a small jar of strawberry jelly._ _

__Which you take. Gladly. "Sure I guess," there's a lot of heat in the moment that makes you forget about what exactly she said, instead focusing on the strawberry jelly she just gave you. It's beautiful, glistening, it's-_ _

__"Hey." You look up at her as she says that, "Everything okay?"_ _

__You scoff, "Yeah things are great. Why?" what kind of issues could you possibly have with things right now?_ _

__"Hon, you and Amby keep fighting. And not like training fighting," her voice gets a little quieter and softer, and it makes you shrink into yourself, intimidated by such a matronly tone._ _

__"Yeah but, it's fine. We're fine, that's just how we Striders deal with shit. We fight. We fuck. End of story." At least that's what you've been trying to convince yourself of this whole time._ _

__"Dave, I know he's an idiot, you both are-"_ _

__"Hey- fair point."_ _

__"You guys need to work it out, it's not healthy."_ _

__You sigh and rolls your eyes, crossing your arms, "Yeah... I don't know why he doesn't _get it_ yet. He doesn't listen to me, he never has."_ _

__"Have you been listening to him?"_ _

__"Obviously. How do you think we fight? Telepathy?"_ _

__"Dave," ah yes, the signature tone of intrigued laced with frustration, you know it well "Being a firefighter is a dangerous job."_ _

__"Well no duh."_ _

__"It's risky."_ _

__"Obviously I know th-"_ _

__"He could die."_ _

__…_ _

__Oh._ _

___Oh._ _ _

__Your throat and mouth are dry and you desperately try to swallow. Your heart has sunk and your skin prickles with formication. It really hadn't hit you before that Bro could likely die from his job, maybe not now or soon but eventually. The longer you're together the more likely it'll happen. And the more likely it'll break you. But you shouldn't have to deal with that now right? That's why he's giving you two a go._ _

__Still, it doesn't feel good. "I know," you say quietly._ _

__"He's scared for you Dave, he's scared of what you might do."_ _

__"He doesn't need to be, I'll be fine. I'm happy with even this much," If you were in an anime this would have a shot of you with only a shadow on your face, making your eyes disappear. It would be really dramatic because you're a liar._ _

__"I just want to make sure you understand his side of things," You feel her matronly hand pat your shoulder and her motherly care gave you and extra boost of healthy thinking energy._ _

__"I do. Thanks Rox," You stand up and she gives you a hug before you skedaddle back up into your room._ _

__Alright, so Bro thinks you're going to be fucked up if he dies, right? Well you're his brother anyway, you'd be fucked up regardless. Not to mention he doesn't get to make those decisions for you. He's not allowed to die, period, but he's also not allowed to be all 'no don't kiss me cause then you'll cry at my funeral'. Idiot._ _

__So of course you need to make a grand gesture just to show how much you love that bastard and how much he means to you, but with a hint of 'I'll move on and be happy when you die'. It's a very specific flavor that needs to be done well and perfectly planned.  
Bro's coming home in 10 minutes. Yeah that's enough time. _ _

__You set up your laptop to play some funky jams of yours, and you run out to the front lawn to pick some flowers. Except there aren't any, so you just grab a whole bunch of grass and go back inside. You dust the floor with grass, leaving a trail of the green blades into the bedroom. Suburban boys make do. You get out the towel and the lube, and strip down into nothing where you lie in bed on your side, waiting for Bro to come home._ _

__He does._ _

__And he sees you._ _

__"What's this?" He asks, intrigue in his voice. Good, you could go for some dick sucking right now._ _

__"Just thought we could have some fun sans fighting," you say, getting off the bed and slinking as sensually as you can towards him and touch his chest, running your hands up and down his torso._ _

__"Alright I'm game," He laughs, combing a finger through your hair._ _

__"Good." You take his hand and lead him towards the bed, sliding your hands beneath his shirt and tugging it off before pushing him onto the bed where he bounces. You climb on top and straddle him, the sensitive skin of your dick brushing against his rough denim makes you shudder. His hands immediately reach for you hips, those frisky fingers grazing the spots he knows your sensitive so you talk ahold of his wrists and pin them to the bed above his head as you lean over him. "Not today mister," you say, "I'm in charge this time."_ _

__He raises an eyebrow at you, "Oh? Let's see what you've got, hot stuff." He chuckles and his chest rumbles beneath you. It's low and sexy and being so close to that jawline move when he calls you "hot stuff" really does it for you._ _

__You bend down and kiss below that jaw line, keeping his wrists pinned while you travel down his neck with soft kisses, feeling his heartbeat, his heat. Your belly twists and turns, your cock filled out and twitching-- "Fucking christ, Bro." You whisper after you lick along the line of his collarbone, "Doesn't get better than this." His skin is a bit salty from the day, and it has that taste of him. Bro. Your everything._ _

__"Wouldn't say that," he laughs._ _

__"I said it, and for once I actually meant a thing that I say right now with my mouth that is currently kissing you and I _can_ bite," you snicker and nip at the crook of his neck just to make your point. _ _

__"Well, someday you'll find someone better than me who's gonna rock your world."  
You freeze and sit up, "What the fuck?"_ _

__"Shit I didn't mean-- probably not the best time to say that, huh? Nevermind, go back to being in charge."_ _

__You let go of his wrists and your cross your arms, narrowing your eyes at him. You stomach continues to twist and turn but now it's knotting in a different direction, "No, no go back. What did you mean by that?" You're not letting him get away with more of this bullshit._ _

__Of course the idiot sighs and rolls his eyes at you, pushing himself up in his elbows to look at you, "Dave, let's not do this now-"_ _

__"Oh we're doing it now, man." You huff and slouch. This argument has been going on for too long without a resolution so it is more than high time that you both figure this shit out. "It's you and me, alright?"_ _

__"Dave. . . "_ _

__"You. And me."_ _

__"For now."_ _

__"Yeah fine for now, and maybe forever too I dunno."_ _

__He sighs and looks to the side, and you're starting to think that having this conversation dick out isn't exactly the best course of action but hey here you are. "You're not going to be with me forever. You have the rest of your life ahead of you and I can't... get in the way of that."_ _

__"Bullshit-"_ _

__"Not bullshit." you looks at you now with a stern eye, his eyebrows creased and dark. "I care about you too much to drag you down with me-"_ _

__"You're not-"_ _

__"Let me finish."_ _

__You huff and nod, "Yeah fine."_ _

__"We'll never be married. We'll never have kids. You won't live the full life that you're supposed to and I. . ."_ _

__Oh. Is that what he's worried about? "I don't give a shit," you say leaning down again and placing a hand on his chest, "I don't care about that. I just want you. Everything else doesn't matter, Bro."_ _

__"I love you too much to hear that."_ _

__"What do you mean?"_ _

__He reaches up to hold onto your wrist and presses his lips together in a fine line, "I feel the same way you do. I love you." The words flash a brilliant heat inside you, but he sounds so sad when he says it. "And I can't be in your way."_ _

__You scoff, "The only way you're _in_ my way is with this stupid argument!"_ _

__"Dave, you're not listening to me-"_ _

__"I hear you just fine and you're an idiot." You huff and thrust your chin out and puff your chest. Clearly he must need a more hands on demonstration, is what you convince yourself when you grind against him just a little. "Bro. Do I need to do a whole Barney song and dance for you to get it? I love you, you love me, we're a happy family." You lean down closer to him, your voice getting softer, "With a great big hug," you place your elbows down on either side of his head, "and a kiss from me to you." You press against his lips, "Won't you say you love me too?"_ _

__"Dave?"_ _

__"Mhmm?"_ _

__"You could _not_ be any sexier right now."_ _

__"Wait wha-"_ _

__Sometimes you forget how strong Bro really is because in moment you're on top of him, then next you're flying in the air onto your back on the bed, your positions reversed. Bro hovers over you, looking at you with an intensity of which makes you craves some nice shades. "I guess..."_ _

__Guessing is good, indecision is good._ _

__"If you sound like Gonzo when I fuck you then I might consider the longevity of this relationshi-"_ _

__"Deal."_ _

__As it turns out, trying to sound and squeal like a hook-nosed muppet with a cock shoved deep in your ass is frighteningly easier than you thought it would be._ _

__It's unfortunate that you can't seduce your brother with puppetry to think about it every time. Not that you both continue to argue as intensely as before, but things have gotten a little weird. Your discussions are a little more hushed, a little quicker too. Ending them with soft sighs and "I understand"'s and "I'll think about it"'s._ _

__But you've also grown closer. Kisses in passing, pressing against each others sides. Those casual touches because he trusts you in his space and you trust him in yours. Weeks pass. You fuck, you kiss, and you talk. Lengthy conversations about logistics and what if's. Bro's overwhelming guilt that he puts on himself like an idiot. Though it's not like you can really judge him as the one hopelessly in love with his parental figure and nebulous piss ideology._ _

__Regardless, progress has been made on your relationship. Quiet and private progress shared between only the two of you. It probably would have been really cool to have gotten some insight into that, but it was a private affair. You can't go blabbing to the world about how Bro sobbed into you shoulder asking if he was a good person or not._ _

__Whoops. How'd that happen._ _

__Anyway, how difficult it is to be so close, and yet so far to the one you love._ _

__Ugh. You need to go outside._ _

__You were planning on hanging out at the library anyway to study for math as well as take a few pictures of people reading, with their permission of course because it's quite necessary and glaringly important in this current situation. Two birds with one stone, can't say no to that._ _

__So you head on out, texting Bro about it who told you to come home by six for some special surprise. You really really hope the surprise is sex. Or a really good pizza; that genuine Sicilian kind with oil dripping all over the place._ _

__And sure enough when you arrive and begin to work away, you perhaps think you might have found meaning in these candid pictures. In how everyone is the main character to their own story, we're all extras to someone else, how there may be someone watching you right now in this moment reading this story about watching you and watching you watch you._ _

__Yeah, how about them apples._ _

__But in all seriousness you get your homework done decently on time, according to your watch it's almost seven which means you'll probably get home early. Maybe surprise Bro's surprise._ _

__When you leave the library though, the biggest surprise is that you forgot how shitty the service is at the library. Your phone buzzes twenty something times as notifications pop and bubble on your screen._ _

__All from Bro._ _

____

Are you there 

Where are you 

Is everything ok 

Library says you're not there, where are you 

I'm fucking serious Dave if you got kidnapped I swear to god 

I'm heading out to find you-

"Bro!" You call him and toss your skateboard on the ground, hopping on and pushing yourself as fast as you can. Fuck fuck fuck you forgot Rox fixed your watch. "I'm so sorry Bro, I forgot Rox fixed my watch!"

"Jesus fuck, Dave, I thought-"

"I got kidnapped, yeah-" you pant out, racing along the sidewalk with your phone pinned between your shoulder and cheek, "-which is pretty hot, not gonna lie. We should-"

"Dave, not now. Where are you?"

"I'm on my way home." You push your sneaker against the asphalt, looking both ways best you can and crossing. "Had my headphones on in the library and they have shitty service. It was a recipe for disaster, really."

"Okay." he sighs and you ollie over a stick that could have fucked up your wheels. 7/10. 

"I promise I'll be home soon, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah okay. I see-"

It really was a recipe for disaster. 

Everything goes in slow motion; the lights, the metal, the glass shattering, flying through the air. Pictures, frames repeating on top of each other, a farce pressing so hard through you that you can't breathe and you think you just might get torn apart. And then you fall asleep. 

A lot of things happened while you were unconscious, a lot of noises, colors, lights, feelings. Or maybe the lack thereof. And it's hard to tell how much time is going, the most important thing to you is Bro. You hope he's okay, you hope you made it home, you hope you made him smile. It's tough to get him to do that, just let himself let go. Has that bastard ever relaxed before? Probably not. 

But god ain't he beautiful? He's the sweetest thing put on this good green Earth. He's certainly no Obama but he could be a distant second cousin to him if you believe hard enough. He's a firefighter who's terrified of being a bad person even though he literally rescues people from burning buildings. He's the greatest and you'll love him to till the day you die.

It could have been hours, it could have been weeks, though realistically it was only a day or two until you wake up. Of course at the time, you hardly know what is "waking" and why sleeping isn't unwake. Then you realize hands exist when you feel that familiar smooth and subtly calloused hand gripping onto yours. "Oh Mr. Darcy, I'm swooning," you croak out, hardly registering what on earth the situation could possibly be or even remembering what Pride and Prejudice was about. 

"Holy fuck."

Your vision begins to clear and you see those bright orange eyes above yours and his "stupid scruffy face," you mumble, reaching up to feel his stupid stubble and forgetting that you're holding his hand. "Hell yeah."

"Ey, he's awake," Bro says for some reason.

You try to shift yourself but- "OH SHIT-" your ass hurts like a motherfucker hot holy damn.  
"Shhh, don't move. Your pelvis is broken," his handsome strong arms wrap around you like a safety cocoon and he eases you back down on the hospital bed. 

"Bring me up to speed because I wasn't there when that happened." Bro fusses with your blankets and your hair, fidgeting and panicking. "Yo Bro," you speak up and grab his attention.

"Sorry, just glad you're awake." He brings your hand up to his face and you feel like a prince. "You got hit by a car. Wasn't too bad but you had a concussion and your pelvis is broke. They did what they could but the rest is up to time."

"I don't remember having a concussion." You take his hand and give it a squeeze, trying to get over the disappointment of missing Sunday movie night. Or maybe you didn't miss it. Now you really want to figure out what day it is and not really deal with the situation.

"Good," Bro's face is red and he scratches behind his neck. 

Before the conversation can continue, your nurse comes in to check up on you. She runs you through the details, about the situation, the medication, the treatment process. It's all well and good, but again, you're mostly lamenting the fact that it'll be weeks before you get pounded in the butt by your own asshole (brother). 

"It's a good thing he was here, otherwise I'm sure you would have made it," he says, motioning towards Bro.

"What do you mean?" Bro won't look at you. 

"He was on the scene when the ambulance came, was making sure you were alright and keeping you still. He knew exactly what to do." She's abundantly cheery about that as if she didn't just tell you that Bro literally watched you get hit.

Bro sniffles, and she leaves as happily as she came in. 

You're not really sure what to say. You know both of you feel blame, which is dumb because this is all your fault. You forgot your watch was fixed, you didn't look both ways. "M'sorry."

He shakes his head, "No Dave, it's fine I-"

"Shuddup, I know you blame yourself for this," you give his hand a squeeze, "but it's my fault."

"Yeah." He nods.

"Wait... what?"

"This is your fault but I don't blame you."

"How does that make sense."

"Well," he scoots closer to you and leans against your bed, "Mistakes happen, to er is human. You did fuck up though, so I'm expecting retribution."

Your mouth stretches to a grin and you whisper softly, "Is this sexy retribution? Do I get punished... daddy?"

"Shut up," he chuckles and rolls his eyes, "I decided."

"On what?"

"Your retribution will be to stick with me for as long as you want," he kisses your hand again, "If that's alright."

If your pelvis wasn't broken you'd be hopping into his lap and planting your lips all over his face, but because it is, all you can really do is smile like a doof and hug him as tight as you can because you're definitely really strong even after being unconscious for a while. "That's alright as fuck," you breathe out with a laugh, nestling into the crook of his neck. Maybe it's morphine maybe it's maybelline, whatever it is, you feel like your floating on air. Fuck your pelvis, Bro practically just married you right now. 

"Sweet, lil man," he pulls away and presses a kiss to your forehead before gently scooting you to the side of the bed and climbing in next to you. He then pulls you close and wraps you up in his arms and you immediately melt into him. "You know," he says, "you were talking in your sleep a bit."

"What?"

"Think I'm good enough to be Obama's distant second cousin?" his arms tighten around you, keeping you warm in the cold hospital room.

"Oh shit I did think that, huh."

Leaves blow by the window and a rush of wind shakes the trees.

"Yup. It was really cute."

Renovation continues on in a shitty apartment. 

"Ugh, maybe embarrassing. I've never been cute a day in my life."

Firetrucks head out and whirr down the street.

"Bold assumption there, hon."

Two people are saved from a fire.

"Yeah okay. I'm hella cute. Now take a nap with me because I miss you."

The sun sets.

"Yeah okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> orz can you tell this was rushed haha
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


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